I’m a Homemaker :)

Not many people know, but actually I had been busy trying to get a part time job in the last few months.. The main reason was of course to get more income, but I also thought “hmm.. maybe I need to do something else outside of my home..” 🤔

My husband didn’t mind with that idea.. I also got phone calls from some of them.. But I always prayed: if it’s God’s will, please open the door.. but if it’s not, please close the door.. And I think you know what happened next.. Yes, God answered my prayer! And He closed all the doors! Hahaha.. 😂

One of them actually already told me to start working at their place and I already got everything ready for that.. but suddenly they didn’t contact me anymore.. and when I asked them, they said sorry, they rejected my application.. wow.. but honestly, I felt so happy and relieved when I got that message, because I know that it’s God’s will for me :)

So after that, after I received so many signs from God (haha..) I totally stopped looking for jobs.. I want to trust God with our financial.. I know that God (and my husband) are our providers.. and I want to learn to be content with my role right now, as a Homemaker :)

God wants me to focus on my calling and my role to be at home.. and I don’t need to find something else to do outside of my home to make me feel more or to make me feel better.. ♥️

What is homemaker?

A homemaker is someone who spends a lot of time looking after their home and family. You usually use homemaker to refer to someone who does not have a job outside the home.

A person who spends their time looking after a home and doing housework rather than being employed outside the home (typically applied to a woman).

And you can search more about it on Google, haha.. Similar with a “housewife” or a “stay at home mom”.. and yes, that’s my job right now 😁

Thank You, God for closing the doors and for showing me your will.. I’m thankful for this special calling in my life.. I want to enjoy it, I want to do my best, I want to upgrade myself everyday, I want to open my heart to learn new things and new skills (even I don’t get paid for doing this, haha..) I want to be a Homemaker for the glory of God! 🙏🏻

Prayer For Your Husband

(From "Wife After God" book by Jennifer Smith)

***

Dear Lord,

Thank you for my husband. Thank you for his heart, his health, and his love for me. I lift him up to you and ask that you would bless him. Use people around him, including me to affirm him.

I pray that he would be encouraged to seek after you and lead like Jesus. May your Holy Spirit transform his character so that he reflects you Lord.

Help him improve in the areas he is weak and continue to strengthen him each day. May he draw close to you Lord and may your will be evident in his life.

I pray against the powers of this dark world, I pray against temptations, I pray against the schemes of the enemy that try to attack my husband. I pray for protection in Jesus name!

Reveal to him your wisdom and your truths. May his soul know you well. I pray that I can help him and inspire him everyday.

In Jesus' name, AMEN!

***

Spend time praying for your husband. Share with God why you are thankful for him, lift up any needs he may have, pray for his character to reflect Christ, and petition God to protect him.

Your Spouse Is A Gift

(From "Wife After God" book by Jennifer Smith)

Your husband is a gift from God...

It is important to see your husband and yourself as gifts to each other everyday you have together, for that will influence how you treat each other.

The marriage relationship is also a magnificent gift in that you and your husband have the opportunity to bless to others. Your marriage is a ministry where you and your husband can work together as a team to fulfill the needs of people around you, to show hospitality, to pray for people, to show compassion, to love by reflecting Christ's love as you mirror His image.

Dear Lord,

Thank you so much for the gift you have blessed me with, my husband and our marriage. Please forgive me for not always receiving this gift with thankfulness and joy. I pray that you would transform my heart and my perspective so that I may always recognize this powerful gift.

I desire to have a deep appreciation for my husband that helps me treat him really good. May your Holy Spirit remind me daily of this precious gift. I pray for my husband to understand that I am a gift, as well. Reveal to him this truth like you revealed it to me.

Thank you for caring about us so much that you would give us the opportunity to experience marriage. May we live as a team to minister to others. May our hearts be sensitive to where you are calling us and to whom you are asking us to bless. May we be prepared to give as you ask of us, regardless of how big or small. I pray that others would see your love story reflected through our love.

In Jesus's name, AMEN!


When you see your husband next, picture God handling him to you as a gift, and receive your gift by hugging your husband.

Run Your Own Race

Last weekend I joined 2 days women conference that hosted by Enjoy Church called Adore Conference. I really had a great time there and I could feel that God recharged my spirit. There were 5 great sessions in that conference that led by Georgie Baxter, Lisa Bevere and Lisa Kai.

I can't share to you all what I have learned from those 5 sessions (I've learned a lot!) But I remember in one of the sessions, Ps. Lisa Kai talked about "Run Your Own Race". What does it mean?

***

We are as a human (especially as a woman), we are tend to compare ourselves to others. We are tend to compare our look, our personality, our status, our talent and even our ministry to others. "Oh.. why I can't be like that woman.." "Why I'm not as beautiful as her.." "Why I can't preach or sing like she does.." and so on.. We want to be in other people's race and we forget that actually God has given us our own race!

You are unique.. yes.. you are different than others.. and God has set a special plan for your life.. Run your race and you can encourage others to run their race as well.. Don't be jealous and don't compete with others.. Find out what God wants personally from your life and do it with your best!

***

I know it was a very simple message, but without realizing we are struggling with it in our everyday life. We live in a "social media" generation and sometimes it can be like a competition.. how many followers do you have, how many likes and thumbs-up do you get, how many friends do you have on facebook.. and actually through those things, we keep following others and we want to be like others or more than them. Are you agree with me? I don't blame social media, haha.. Honestly, there were times when I almost want to deactivate all of my social media.. But I decided not to do that, why? Because I know God still want me to use it to glorify His name and to encourage others to run their own race :)

There is only one Marcella Flaorenzia in this whole world, I want to run my race and finish it well. There is only one YOU in this whole world. Run your own race and finish it well. For His glory.

Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. -Galatians 6:4-5, MSG

Perfectionism

Are you a perfectionist? Are you a type of person who always want everything to be perfect?

Yes, I am one of them... I am a type of person who always want my house to be clean (not only clean, but very very clean) and organized. I am a type of person who always double check everything that I write, everything that I read and everything that I do (my husband knows that I will always double check our front doors and garage to make sure they are locked every night, or even when I leave the house :p) I am a type of person who always have an agenda, goals and to-do-list everyday.

I know, there are few good things about being perfectionist.. but we really have to be careful with this perfectionism.

Perfectionists tend to be harsh critics of themselves when they fail to meet their standards. When perfectionists do not reach their goals, they often fall into depression. -Wikipedia

Sometimes I really need to remind myself that it's okay not to be perfect. And actually the truth is, none of us can be perfect.. nobody is perfect.. and there is no perfect life or a perfect job. The One who is perfect is only God himself.

Few days ago, my husband asked me to listen to this program that he listened on a radio. He knows that at that time I was really struggled with my perfectionism. And what they discussed on the radio, it is truly me! I have let my life to be driven by my perfectionism and it makes me stress. Trying to be perfect in everything is a very tiring job.

Focus on the Family – 20/05/15: Ending the Pursuit of the Perfect Life – Part I

Focus on the Family – 21/05/15: Ending the Pursuit of the Perfect Life – Part II

Through this radio program, God reminds me that actually He never expect me to be perfect (because He knows that I can't and I would never be..) but He wants me to depend on Him and surrender my life to Him. My husband also said to me that he never expect me to be a perfect wife.. "I want you to be a woman that God created you to be," that's what he said. So why do I need to push myself so hard to be perfect?

These days, it is very easy for us to be intimidated by others. For example, through social media.. people will always post something nice about themselves, about their family, their marriage, their house, what they have.. and everything looks perfect! We will see that they have a perfect life and we wish that we could have that too.. But don't be intimidated by that.. remember that there is no perfect life, and everyone also has gone through a hard times and hard seasons in their life.

Now look at yourself, be grateful with your life, with all that you have and all that you have done. You don't need to be perfect and try to impress people. You are good enough. And God loves you just as who you are..

God made my life complete

when I placed all the pieces before him.

- Psalm 18:20, MSG

So... Being driven by perfectionism or being led by God? It is your choice.. :)

Diamond In The Rough

This morning I had a devotion from "Wife After God" book by Jennifer Smith. And I wanna share to you a bit, what she said in the chapter that I read about Diamond In The Rough...

***

Diamonds have always been treasured as highly sought after gemstones throughout human history. They are resilient, strong, and beautiful. Diamonds are formed beneath the weight of the world. Despite the harsh conditions required to form a diamond, its name is derived from an ancient Greek word meaning unbreakable.

You are like a diamond; however, your worth is far greater! As you journey through life you will endure harsh conditions. There are so many different pressures that you may face daily. Pressures to be better, to be a superwoman, a wife that manages perfectly or a mom who does it all. Ridicule, rules, standards, and unrealistic expectations: chains wrapped around your heart, pushing against your soul, forcing you to conform to the world.

However, that is not the message found in the love story of Christ! Rather, His love says you are worth more and with Him you are unbreakable!

Like a diamond endures through time resulting in an exqusite sought after gem, you can endure every season and circumstance allowing each one to refine you, resulting in an exquisite God-fearing woman who is worthy, far more than diamonds, you are worthy! You are resilient, you are strong, you are beautiful!

***

Dear Lord,

There are so many pressures in my life. I feel heavy burdens at times and I also feel insecure that I don't always measure up to people's standards. I pray that you remind me daily to find hope in you, to rely on you and to trust what you say about me. Your opinion is truly the only one that matters!

Thank you for being my source of strength to persevere, my everything. May you continue to transform me into the woman you created me to be. Help me to see myself as beautiful. May your Holy Spirit guide me through every season, every circumstance, every pressure and every moment of intensity.

I pray that I can be a wife who endures for the sake of her marriage. Please bless my husband and release him of the burdens of this world. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

The pressure of this world cannot destroy me if I place my hope in God.

Wife After God

We love young couples! (Because we are still young couple too, hehe.. and going to celebrate our 1st anniversary soon, yay!) Meeting and sharing experience with them is really fun and also encouraging. They can understand how different it is to live as a single, and to live as a husband/wife. Our season of life has changed.. and our life as a wife suddenly become busier than before! Ha! Especially if you live in a different country, where you have no family or house maid around and have to do everything by yourself.. :p

Most of the problem is, after we get married (especially later if we already have kids), it seems like it's harder to give our time for God than when we were still single. One of my friends said that she even doesn't have a devotion time at all anymore. And I can understand that.

Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 7:34 that... "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."

When I was still single, I could get up every morning without thinking about anything else beside God. But now, everytime I get up, there is my husband beside me :p And I need to prepare his breakfast and lunch box very early in the morning. I agree that life as a wife is very busy, but it doesn't mean that you can't have time for God :)

Maybe our ways to do devotion now will be different than before. But it's okay! God wants us to be creative and try to find a new way to seek Him everyday. Here are some things that I do to build my personal relationship with God everyday as a wife, and maybe you can do the same thing too ;)

***

1. Everytime we get up (usually around 5 AM) we pray together on bed. I know we are still very sleepy, haha.. but short prayer it does matter in God's eyes :) Usually we say thanks to God for a new day, pray for one another and ask God for His protection and blessing.

2. After that prayer, my husband gets ready for work and I need to prepare his food. And after he leaves, that's the time when I can have my personal devotion at home. My husband also has his personal devotion in the car. We have a different way in doing devotion. My husband loves listening, so he does it by listening to the sermon or worship songs in a radio. He also loves to pray in a car (with eyes open of course :p) I love reading and writing. So I really need to sit down, open my Bible, read a book and write a journal. Right now I'm using a devotion book called "Wife After God" by Jennifer Smith. It is a 30-Day Devotional Book, and it's very good! Inside this book there are Bible verses that you need to read, reflection, prayer, questions and also challenge that you need to do to your husband everyday :)

3. Other things that you can do is to manage your activity during the day. Instead of checking your Facebook (or other social media), you can read a good Christian book. Or if you don't like reading, you can listen to a short sermon at reviveourhearts.com and you can listen to it while you're doing something else. Sometimes I also like to turn on a worship songs playlist at home. Maybe this can be a good idea for you.

4. After a busy day, we always close our day with a devotion time together. Sometimes we read from ODB (Our Daily Bread), but right now we are using a devotion book called "Day By Day With God" that we just got from our church. We read together and then pray together before we sleep (this time our prayer is longer than the morning one, lol). It's really good to have your husband as your spiritual partner. But if he still doesn't want, you can always have a personal devotion by yourself and keep praying for your husband :)

***

We need God in our everyday life and we need to make Him as our first priority. Let's be the wife after God!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

- Proverbs 31:30

I Love Him Anyway

Dalam setiap pernikahan pasti ada yang namanya konflik.. kalo gak pernah ada konflik, hmm.. berarti mereka mungkin belom pernah tinggal bareng kali ya, haha.. Artikel kali ini aku mau tulis khusus buat temen-temen yang baru pada married, or yang lagi pada persiapan married.. Aku bisa bilang kalo pernikahan itu seru banget! And pastinya, kita jadi bisa belajar dan ngalamin kasih Kristus lebih lagi, melalui pasangan kita :)

Aku akhir-akhir ini lagi baca devotion dari buku Sacred Marriage (Gary Thomas), and di salah satu devotion-nya dia cerita tentang pengalaman satu pasangan suami-istri. Intinya, si istri ini berusaha untuk bisa mengubah suaminya, karena si suami ini keliatannya kayak kurang romantis. Pas Valentine, si suami cuma kasih kartu dan di dalemnya gak ditulis apa-apa, cuma ditulisin nama dia doang, haha.. Trus parahnya lagi, pas anniversary, si suami gak inget and gak ngasih apa-apa ke istrinya. Padahal si istri udah berusaha kasih hadiah macem-macem ke dia. Si istri ini juga udah coba kasih ke suaminya beberapa buku tentang how to love your spouse.. but suaminya gak tertarik buat baca tuh buku sama sekali, hahaha.. Tapi at the end, respon istrinya ini loh yang mantep, dia bilang, "I've realized it's never going to change.. But I love him anyway." :)

Gak lama setelah aku baca artikel ini, aku ngalamin konflik sama si DM, hehe.. Biasa deh, yang satu maunya A, yang satu maunya B.. And sempet bikin aku kesel.. huh.. But after that, kita pemberesan, kita cari solusinya.. and aku keinget devotion yang aku baca itu :p Lucunya pas lagi kesel-kesel gitu, aku bilang ke DM.. "I kesel sama u.. tapi tetep sayang.." (wkwkwk..) dan aku jadi ngerasa lucu sendiri.. koq bisa ya, kita tetep sayang dan mengasihi orang yang kita udah paling tau jelek-jeleknya dan paling sering konflik sama kita, haha.. koq bisa ya si DM tetep sayang dan mengasihi aku juga, padahal dia udah liat semua jelek-jeleknya aku.. Itulah indahnya pernikahan di dalam Tuhan :)

Luke 6:32-36 (NIV)

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

That's why dalam pernikahan, kita perlu yang namanya kasih Kristus.. to love our spouse "anyway", not to love him "because".. Sama seperti Kristus mengasihi kita, bukan karena perbuatan baik kita.. Tapi Dia mengasihi kita, ketika kita masih berdosa.. God loves us anyway!

Jenis kasih yang kayak gini nih yang bisa bikin pernikahan kita tetep bertahan and tetep kuat. Banyak pasangan yang akhirnya bercerai karena mereka cuma bisa mengasihi pasangan mereka kalau pasangannya bisa jadi seperti yang mereka harapkan. But masalahnya, kita menikah sama manusia (bukan sama malaikat kan? haha..) yang gak sempurna and gak bisa selalu sesuai sama harapan kita. Itulah serunya pernikahan! :p Kita jadi dapet banyak kesempatan untuk praktekin kasih Kristus setiap hari kepada pasangan kita yang gak sempurna.. karena kalo kita cuma mengasihi orang yang mengasihi kita or selalu berbuat baik sama kita, apa bedanya kita sama orang-orang di luar Tuhan? :)

To love anyway is to love like God and to learn about God's love for us, who loves the "ungrateful and wicked". That's love, Jesus style. Let's love like that. - Gary Thomas

Let's Talk About... SEX! (Part 2)

Gak lama setelah aku post artikel-ku sebelumnya, yang judulnya "Let's Talk About... SEX!" aku gak sengaja ngobrol sama satu temen kerjaku di cafe. Pas hari itu cafe juga lagi agak sepi, jadi gak ada kerjaan, hehe.. and kita punya banyak waktu buat ngobrol :p

Aku gak inget awalnya kita lagi obrolin apa, but tiba-tiba dia nanya ke aku: "So, how did you meet your husband?" Wah.. that's a long.. long.. story.. haha.. And akhirnya aku ceritain garis besar tentang our love story ke dia.. termasuk soal value kekudusan yang kita pegang selama masa pra nikah.. And dia bener-bener amazed banget pas tau kalo aku dan DM ini sama-sama belom pernah pacaran sebelumnya (the first and the last istilahnya), apalagi pas dia tau kalo kita ini jalanin hands-off relationship, and our first kiss is our wedding kiss.. Dia yang terkaget-kaget gitu deh pokoknya, wkwkwk..

Abis itu, gantian aku yang nanya dia, hehe.. "How about you? Do you have a boyfriend?" Temenku ini ceweq, sekitar umur 20 gitu kayaknya. And akhirnya dia cerita kalo dia dulu pernah punya cowoq, but putus karena LDR.. Trus baru-baru ini dia jadian sama satu cowoq (temen lama, trus ketemu lagi gitu) but dia rasanya kepengen putus sama cowoq ini, tapi gak tau gimana caranya.. And I said, "Why?!" (bukannya kerja di cafe, kita malah jadi konseling soal hubungan, haha..)

Dia cerita kalo awalnya hubungan ini oke-oke aja (namanya juga masih berbunga-bunga lha ya.. everything seems beautiful..) but lama-lama rasanya mulai boring.. nothing interesting.. sampe akhirnya.. (ini yang bikin aku deg-degan pas denger) si cowoq mulai minta sesuatu yang lebih (alias sex).. karena katanya sih, sama ceweq-ceweq dia sebelumnya juga begitu.. But temenku ini gak mau kasih, alasannya karena dia takut and dia masih virgin.. dia juga masih gak yakin sama hubungan ini.. that's why dia kepengen putus..

Di satu sisi, aku seneng karena denger dia masih virgin and gak ikutin kemauan si cowoq. Aku langsung bilang ke dia dengan tegas, "Yes.. he is not the right man for you!" and support dia untuk mutusin cowoqnya, hahaha.. But di satu sisi, I feel sad.. why? Karena melihat value kekudusan yang semakin bobrok di generasi ini.. My heart is broken.. :( :( :(

Temenku ini gak punya alasan yang kuat and dia gak ngerti kenapa dia harus menjaga kekudusan.. Intinya dia bilang, aku belom yakin sama hubungan ini jadi aku gak mau berhubungan sex, nanti kalo udah yakin baru aku kasih.. And aku langsung bilang, "NO WAY! Sex is only for married couple.. Meskipun udah yakin, harus tunggu sampai pernikahan baru boleh.." And menurut dia, sex before marriage itu cuma semacem cultural thing (sama kayak perceraian).. Apalagi di negara-negara barat kayak di Australia gini.. But you know what, semua itu bukan budaya.. semua itu dosa and kejahatan di mata Tuhan.. Jangan sampe kita tertipu, karena kita ngeliat hal ini udah jadi hal yang biasa di lingkungan temen-temen kita.. But sin is sin.. dosa adalah dosa.. and itu menyakiti hati Tuhan..

Selesai kerja hari itu, aku bener-bener kepikiran dia terus and bawa dia dalam doa. Terakhir sebelum pulang, kita udah gak bisa ngobrol banyak, jadi aku cuma encourage dia untuk terus menjaga kekudusan sampai pernikahan, and untuk berani mutusin cowoqnya juga, hahaha.. Oya satu hal lagi yang sempet bikin aku sedih, dari kasus dia aku gak ngeliat yang namanya peranan orang tua.. I don't thing her parent know about this.. Atau ortunya maybe tau but cuek aja, and gak ajarin value ke anak-anaknya.. I don't know.. But lewat hal ini aku juga jadi bisa belajar how to be a parent one day.. Kita harus tanemin nilai-nilai kekudusan, and kebenaran tentang sex ke anak-anak kita (our next generation) sebelum terlambat.. Jangan sampe mereka denger tentang sex dari pergaulan mereka.. But let them listen from the Word of God and from us as a parent..

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.

- Psalm 119:9

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

Akhir-akhir ini di Facebook (and social media) lagi banyak banget ya challenge macem-macem. Ada beberapa yang sempet aku ikutin, kayak Gratitude Challenge misalnya :) And aku mau share salah satu challenge yang lagi aku jalanin bareng ci Lia dkk (kita ada satu group buat para istri gitu, hehe..) kita sama-sama jalanin yang namanya "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge" yang kita dapetin bahannya dari sini:

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/30-day-husband-encouragement-challenge/

Here is the challenge: For thirty days, don’t say anything negative to or about your husband. Also, say something positive to and about your husband each day.

Hari ini kita udah masuk ke hari 25, hehe.. And aku merasa diberkatin banget :) Jadi setiap hari ada topik yang berbeda-beda, yang bisa kita liat di link itu.. You can try and join this challenge too if you want! ^^

Dari challenge ini aku belajar how to be my husband's cheerleader and encourager everyday. Betapa pentingnya support seorang istri di balik kesuksesan seorang suami. Selain itu, aku juga belajar untuk focusing on his strengths, apa yang jadi kekuatan dia, admire and adore him.. rather than focusing on his weaknesses.

Ternyata jadi istri itu seru ya, hehe.. And aku masih terus belajar and belajar how to be a better wife everyday, in Godly ways tentunya.. :)

Next in October (start from tomorrow), aku mo mulai join yang namanya "31 Days of Praying for Your Husband" yang bakal aku post setiap hari juga on Facebook, or kamu bisa liat di link ini:

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/

Bless your husband by praying for him!

“She does him good . . .” (Proverbs 31:12a)

Remember this:

* If your marriage is doing well, then that’s going to impact the whole body of Christ. If your marriage is not doing well, that’s going to impact the whole body of Christ.

* Marriage relationship is intended to be a picture—an earthly picture—of my relationship with my Heavenly Bridegroom, the Lord Jesus.

May God bless your marriage life! :)

Let's Talk About... SEX!

Yes... why not?!

Sex adalah salah satu topik paling penting yang harus kita bahas, khususnya di kalangan anak-anak muda. Banyak gereja yang "takut" mengangkat topik ini, karena kesannya mungkin tabu and sebaiknya jangan dibahas di dalam gereja. But bersyukur akhir-akhir ini banyak gereja yang mulai terbuka, dan banyak juga penulis-penulis Kristen yang mulai membahas tentang sex di dalam artikel-artikel mereka.

Generasi kita dan generasi di bawah kita, mereka perlu tau kebenaran tentang sex. Jangan biarkan mereka "tertipu" dengan semua film yang mereka tonton, buku yang mereka baca, or pergaulan and budaya yang mengajarkan tentang sex before marriage. They need to know about the TRUTH!

Jujur, I feel really really sad melihat kondisi generasi kita saat ini. Pasangan muda yang berpacaran, gampang sekali tergoda dan jatuh dalam hubungan sex sebelum menikah. Sebaliknya, pasangan yang sudah menikah, mereka malah kehilangan gairah untuk berhubungan sex dan mereka gak bisa menikmati keindahan sex yang Tuhan berikan.

SEX is a gift from God that you can open on your wedding day!

Not on the day before!

Sebagai wanita yang sudah menikah, I can say that sex is really really a beautiful gift from God :) That's because we open it on our wedding day, as our wedding present.. and we really enjoy it until now.. Bayangin kalau kita udah buka duluan "hadiah" ini sebelum kita menikah, it won't be precious and special anymore..

1Corinthians 7:14 says.. "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband." Di ayat ini dibilang the WIFE (wanita yang sudah menikah) dan bukan wanita single. So selama kita masih single, kita masih punya hak atas tubuh kita dan gak ada satu orang pun yang berhak untuk merebut kekudusan tubuh kita.

Sewaktu aku masih single, I had a commitment (selain untuk pacaran satu kali seumur hidup) aku cuma mau menikahi pria yang bisa menjaga kekudusan dan menghargai komitmen aku dengan Tuhan. Pria yang juga punya standard kekudusan hidup yang sama. And thank God I've found that man, hehe.. Bahkan standard kekudusan kita bisa dibilang bener-bener tinggi :p

By the grace of God, kita berhasil jalanin hands-off relationship, no physical touch and berhasil untuk wujudin "my first kiss is my wedding kiss" juga di depan altar.. It's sooo beautiful!!! Gak bisa diungkapin pake kata-kata, hehe.. Aku masih inget after the wedding, si DM langsung peluk and rangkul aku terus, hihi.. And pas lagi foto post-wedding, dia juga langsung kiss aku terus, wkwkwk.. I can see how proud and how happy he is :) Pas di akhir acara wedding, aku juga sempet said thank you to him (in front of public) karena dia udah bener-bener menjaga kekudusan aku selama masa pacaran, karena dia udah berusaha untuk bener-bener gak menyentuh aku sama sekali, haha.. and I really appreciate it :)

So buat para single ladies, inget bahwa tubuhmu itu adalah Bait Allah.. it belongs to God and to your husband (later!) Don't open it until your wedding day.. jangan pernah turunin standard.. and you'll see how beautiful it is.. :)

Buat yang udah menikah, buat para istri.. remember that your body is no longer yours, but it belongs to your husband. Build intimacy in your marriage life (including sex). Serve your husband with all your heart and enjoy your intimacy with him.. Buat yang udah lama gak pernah physical touch, ayo mulai dibangun lagi.. Hug, kiss and cuddle your husband again.. :)

"It is our prayer that you and your spouse would see sex as a gift from God. A gift to be stewarded. A gift to be guarded. A gift to be enjoyed. And a gift to be shared together for God's glory and your good."

- Mark Driscoll

I Can't... But God Can...

I can't cook.. dari kecil aku gak pernah dilatih untuk masuk dapur.. and my mom juga tipe wanita kantoran, so she can't cook (palingan masak yang simple-simple aja, hehe..) and rata-rata semua urusan rumah dikerjain pembantu. Gak pernah sama sekali terlintas di pikiran aku untuk jadi seorang wanita yang bisa masak :p

Sampe akhirnya aku dikirim ke Amrik (tahun 2010-2011), di situ pertama kalinya aku ngerasa wow banget ngeliat para wanita yang mandiri and gak pake pembantu rumah tangga, hehe.. Aku masih inget banget waktu pertama kali ngeliat my host lagi baking brownies di rumah, aku sampe kaget and norak gitu, wkwkwk.. But selama di sana, aku blom ngerasa tertarik buat belajar masak. Justru mulai tertarik untuk nyoba, pas aku udah balik ke Indo.. and situasi mendukung juga, karena saat itu di rumah udah gak ada pembantu :p

So, bisa dibilang.. aku tuh belajar masak telat banget (udah sekitar umur 25!) and bener-bener harus belajar sendiri dari nol :( But I know God was preparing me to live in Australia one day.. Ada saatnya aku ngerasa gagal and minder banget.. Masakan yang menurut orang-orang gampang aja, koq kayaknya susah banget buat aku.. And aku juga bukan orang yang tau banyak soal makanan.. But dari situ Tuhan mau aku belajar yang namanya proses..

Pernah juga dulu (waktu masih di Indo) aku pernah nangis gara-gara gagal bikin kue, haha.. Aku merasa kalo aku tuh bodoh banget and kayak gak punya skill di situ sama sekali :( Trus ngeliat orang-orang yang berhasil and udah pada jago, rasanya jadi minder and mulai deh ngebandingin diri sama orang lain (kecenderungan wanita ya, wkwkwk..) Apalagi aku termasuk orang perfeksionis.. jadi kalo gagal tuh rasanya minta ampun deh.. :p

So, buat kalian yang lagi ada dalam posisi kayak gitu.. I know how it feels.. Tenang aja, you are not alone.. But you know what, justru dalam situasi kayak begitu, aku jadi bisa semakin bergantung sama Tuhan :) I know I can't, but God can.. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me! Termasuk soal masak and bikin kue juga lho, haha.. Aku jadi sadar kalo aku ini emang gak punya kemampuan apa-apa.. everything comes from Him! Tiap kali mo masak (bahkan sampe sekarang), aku jadi selalu doa and minta kemampuan dari Tuhan.. Apalagi sekarang udah ada suami yang suka request masakan macem-macem :p So when I cook/bake something, I know it's not because of me or my skill at all! But it's all because of God.. He is also the King of my kitchen (yes! amen!)

Kemaren ini aku juga baru baca satu statement yang bilang gini:

"If God is all you have,

you have all you need..."

Justru di saat kita merasa lemah, di saat kita merasa gak mampu and gak punya apa-apa.. di situlah kuasa Tuhan bekerja and Dia bisa nyatain kemuliaan-Nya melalui kita :) It's really good to always realize that we have nothing in this world, and what we have is only GOD. Dari situ kita jadi bisa bener-bener depend on Him 100% and gak berjalan pake kekuatan kita sendiri. Bukan cuma dalam soal masak, but also in every aspect in our lives. So waktu kita berhasil, kita juga gak bisa sombong, because we know that we can't do anything without Him :) To God be the glory!

So, my next project is to learn how to drive!! Oh nooo.. haha.. Ini proses yang dari dulu belom selesai-selesai :p Dulu sih di Indo udah punya SIM (but you know lah ya, gampang banget buat dapetin SIM di Indo, hihi..) padahal nyetir juga belom bener, wkwkwk.. So, kali ini tinggal di Aussie, aku mau gak mau harus bisa nyetir, apalagi nanti kalo udah punya anak.. I really feel I can't drive at all.. :( Aku payah banget sama soal jalanan, rules lalu lintas, dll. Banyak yang bilang, nyetir di Aussie mah gampang.. But for me, it's hard.. I know I can't drive.. But.. God can.. :) That's all that I know :) So, kalo one day aku udah bisa nyetir and bisa dapet driver license di sini, aku cuma mo bilang: "It's all because of God who gives me strength! I can't... But He can..." :)

Related Post:

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/i-in-training-d.html

The Story Behind My Wedding Dress

Persiapan wedding itu memang "sesuatu" banget! Duit ratusan juta bisa habis dalam sekejap, apalagi kalo pestanya di Indonesia, bisa milyaran kali ya sekarang, haha.. Tapi dari dulu aku selalu punya impian kepengen wedding yang simple but meaningful :) Thanks God akhirnya Tuhan kasih aku wedding di Australia, and pesta tunangan di Indonesia, jadi bisa lebih simple, hehe..

Salah satu hal penting yang harus dipikirin dalam persiapan wedding adalah soal budget. I know God can provide everything that we need, but bukan berarti kita gak perlu pake hikmat and semuanya harus serba mewah :p Kita harus tau hal apa aja yang mau kita prioritasin..

Waktu aku and DM udah mulai masuk persiapan wedding, dia tanya ke aku, hal apa aja yang penting buat aku (karena biasanya ceweq yang banyak maunya soal urusan wedding, hehe..) Ada yang memang mau prioritasin budgetnya ke wedding dress, ada yang mau spend more money ke venue/tempat, ada yang ke wedding cake, ada yang ke dekorasi, makanan, dan lain sebagainya..

And I said to him, kalo buat aku.. aku bener-bener gak prioritasin soal dress, tempat, dekorasi, cake, makanan, dll.. but aku mo prioritasin souvenir (buku "Our Love Story" maksudnya, haha..) trus dokumentasi (terutama harus ada video, supaya orang-orang yang di Indonesia and di seluruh dunia juga bisa nonton :p) sama terakhir (yang ini sih gak perlu keluar biaya) aku mau fokus di acara and suasana.. it has to be meaningful, touching.. and pengen ada first dance kalo bisa, hehe..

So, karena udah tau mana yang prioritas, jadi budget-budget yang lain bisa kita kurangin.. wedding dress misalnya :)

Aku sempet mampir ke beberapa bridal di Jakarta, buat iseng-iseng nyobain baju sambil survey harga.. and wow, harga sewa wedding dress ternyata mahal juga ya.. meskipun udah termasuk paket dsb. tetep aja mahal :p Padahal cuma buat dipake sehari, and abis itu langsung dibalikin lagi.. Duit 10-15 juta langsung hilang dalam sehari, hehe.. Bukan cuma di Indo, buat sewa wedding dress di Aussie juga malah lebih mahal lagi, haha.. Kata temen-temen sih sekitar 2000 AUD (sekitar 20 juta). So, gimana dong solusinya biar gak usah keluar duit segitu banyak?

Caranya adalah, aku bikin bajunya di Indo.. trus dibawa ke Aussie, hehe.. Ternyata harga buat bikin itu jauh lebih murah daripada sewa. Selain bisa jadi hak milik seumur hidup, kita juga bisa nentuin sendiri model bajunya mau kayak gimana :) Aku search di internet, sempet bingung juga karena banyak bener pilihannya.. but akhirnya aku milih satu model baju yang di-design Vera Wang (trus aku tambahin bagian pundaknya biar gak terlalu terbuka) So, kayak begini deh jadinya.. :)

Model baju ini gak ada "buntut" nya, jadi aku sengaja beli veil yang agak panjang buat dijadiin buntut, hehe.. Trus pas selesai pemberkatan, aku lepas veil nya supaya bisa dance and gak keserimpet (ampun deh bahasanya, tapi ngerti kan maksudnya? haha..)

Aku bener-bener gak nyesel sih bikin baju ini.. siapa tau one day bisa buat dipake lagi and buat foto-foto lagi (kalo masih muat tapi ya, wkwkwk..) And aku jadi suka saranin ke temen-temen yang mo married untuk bikin, daripada sewa.. Memang harganya beda jauh banget ya? Yup, jauh banget.. Biaya yang dikeluarin buat bikin baju ini, sama baju tunangan aku yang warna ungu, total semuanya (buat 2 baju lho ya..) masih di bawah 4 juta! So we can save our money buat hal-hal yang laen, hehe..

So inti dari cerita aku kali ini (khususnya buat yang lagi pada persiapan wedding), just be wise.. khususnya dalam ngatur soal budget.. The most beautiful wedding is not always the most expensive one :) Kecuali kalo memang orang tua kita yang mau dan mereka yang biayain buat semuanya, ya apa boleh buat, terima aja, haha.. Yang penting semua bisa happy :p But I know ada beberapa pasangan yang harus siapin budget and harus ngatur semuanya sendiri.. Or ada yang mau married di luar negeri, and lagi kebingungan soal wedding dress, maybe this can be an idea for you :)

So, all the best buat semua yang lagi pada persiapan wedding.. Kamu juga bisa baca artikel aku yang judulnya There is no "Perfect Wedding" di sini:

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/there-is-no-perfect-wedding.html

Be blessed! :)

Recommended Books For Wives (and Husbands too!)

Kalo dulu waktu masih single, bacanya buku-buku seperti: I Kissed Dating Good Bye, Boy Meets Girl, Lady in Waiting, When God Writes Your Love Story, and beberapa buku lainnya yang kamu bisa klik di sini:

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/recommended-reading.html

But sekarang udah jadi istri, bacaannya ikut berubah juga :p Apalagi nanti kalo udah hamil and udah punya anak-cucu ya, pasti beda-beda lagi bacaannya, haha.. Never stop reading and never stop learning! :) So, kali ini aku mau share list beberapa buku yang aku udah punya dan udah baca, atau ada juga yang lagi dibaca saat ini, or kepengen baca tapi aku belom punya, haha.. but I know that these all are good books :) Happy Reading!

***

Created To Be His Help Meet (Debi Pearl)

Created To Need a Help Meet (Michael Pearl)

Ini hadiah dari ci Lia waktu aku and DM tunangan.. so special and berguna banget :)

Sacred Marriage (Gary Thomas)

Yang ini dibeliin DM :) Plus ada 52 devotions juga di dalemnya..

You Can Be The Wife of A Happy Husband (Darien B. Cooper)

Yang ini pemberian dari mama mertua, hehe.. but yang versi bahasa Indo.. Ini buku lama banget terbitan tahun 1974, but it's a very good book!

The Act Of Marriage (Tim & Beverly LaHaye)

Yang ini pemberian dari ci Grace sebelum aku married (kayaknya semua buku dikasih orang ya, haha..) Thanks a lot! Feel so blessed :)

What Every Man Wants in a Woman

What Every Woman Wants in a Man

(John & Diana Hagee)

Kalo yang ini, aku beli sendiri! Hahaha.. And fyi, ini cuma 1 buku (bukan 2) jadi rada unik, bolak-balik gitu (2 in 1 book) hehe..

The Marriage You've Always Wanted (Gary Chapman)

Yang ini aku juga beli sendiri, hehe.. But yang versi bahasa Indo..

Wife After God (Jennifer Smith)

Yang ini aku baru beli on-line barusan tadi pagi, jadi lagi on the way bukunya, hahaha... Can't wait! Mau aku pake buat saat teduh selama 30 hari :)

Love & Respect (Dr. Emerson Eggerichs)

Yang terakhir ini, aku kepengen baca but belom punya.. Kalo ada yang mo kasih/beliin, silahkan.. pasti diterima dengan senang hati, wkwkwk.. *just kiddink* :p

So, that's all for now! And hopefully one day I can write my own book for wives :)