2 Years of Marriage ♡

"DM... I thank God for you...

You are the first and last man I have ever loved...

I will share and support your hopes and visions,

help to fulfill them in any way I can...

I am truly blessed to be a part of your life,

I love you!"

- Marcella's personal wedding vow (08.02.14)

Yesterday we were celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary :) Ada banyak banget hal yang kami lewatin and pelajarin selama 2 tahun ini.. But ada 2 points aja yang aku pengen share and bagiin ke kalian hari ini:

First, LOVE your spouse not only in words, but also in action.

Kalo kalian liat kalimat dan juga video di atas, wedding vow itu salah satu hal yang paling penting di dalam acara pemberkatan nikah. Selain formal wedding vow, kami juga bikin yang namanya personal wedding vow. But inget, jangan jadiin itu cuma sekedar formalitas or kata-kata yang abis itu kita langsung lupain.. We have to put our vows into action..

Selama 2 tahun pernikahan, banyak ups and downs yang kami lewatin. Keadaan gak selalu happy-happy aja.. Ada saatnya DM bergumul soal pekerjaan, ada saatnya kami bergumul soal keuangan, ada saatnya juga kami bergumul soal kesehatan.. But justru di saat seperti itu, Tuhan mau melihat gimana respon aku sebagai seorang istri dan respon DM sebagai seorang suami. Apa aku tetep bisa jadi istri yang men-support DM dalam segala keadaan.. for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do us part.. :)

Second, cherish every moment with your spouse.

Aku baru denger kabar kalo ada satu temen di Jakarta yang suaminya baru meninggal.. (Be strong ya, Melisa! You are a wonderful wife!) And I know that must be really hard, especially with 2 little kids.. :'( But lewat kejadian ini, bikin aku jadi mikir, entah berapa lama waktu yang kita punya untuk kita bisa hidup bersama suami/istri kita. And dengan waktu yang ada, what kind of memories or moments that we want to create with our spouse? Apa sebagian besar waktu kita dipake buat berantem and diem-dieman? Or we want to cherish every moment with them?

So, itu 2 hal yang aku mau bagiin hari ini.. Marriage is the strongest relationship on earth, bahkan lebih dari hubungan kita dengan orang tua kita or dengan anak-anak kita. How's your relationship with your spouse these days? How's your marriage life? :)

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin

Prayer For Your Husband

(From "Wife After God" book by Jennifer Smith)

***

Dear Lord,

Thank you for my husband. Thank you for his heart, his health, and his love for me. I lift him up to you and ask that you would bless him. Use people around him, including me to affirm him.

I pray that he would be encouraged to seek after you and lead like Jesus. May your Holy Spirit transform his character so that he reflects you Lord.

Help him improve in the areas he is weak and continue to strengthen him each day. May he draw close to you Lord and may your will be evident in his life.

I pray against the powers of this dark world, I pray against temptations, I pray against the schemes of the enemy that try to attack my husband. I pray for protection in Jesus name!

Reveal to him your wisdom and your truths. May his soul know you well. I pray that I can help him and inspire him everyday.

In Jesus' name, AMEN!

***

Spend time praying for your husband. Share with God why you are thankful for him, lift up any needs he may have, pray for his character to reflect Christ, and petition God to protect him.

Your Spouse Is A Gift

(From "Wife After God" book by Jennifer Smith)

Your husband is a gift from God...

It is important to see your husband and yourself as gifts to each other everyday you have together, for that will influence how you treat each other.

The marriage relationship is also a magnificent gift in that you and your husband have the opportunity to bless to others. Your marriage is a ministry where you and your husband can work together as a team to fulfill the needs of people around you, to show hospitality, to pray for people, to show compassion, to love by reflecting Christ's love as you mirror His image.

Dear Lord,

Thank you so much for the gift you have blessed me with, my husband and our marriage. Please forgive me for not always receiving this gift with thankfulness and joy. I pray that you would transform my heart and my perspective so that I may always recognize this powerful gift.

I desire to have a deep appreciation for my husband that helps me treat him really good. May your Holy Spirit remind me daily of this precious gift. I pray for my husband to understand that I am a gift, as well. Reveal to him this truth like you revealed it to me.

Thank you for caring about us so much that you would give us the opportunity to experience marriage. May we live as a team to minister to others. May our hearts be sensitive to where you are calling us and to whom you are asking us to bless. May we be prepared to give as you ask of us, regardless of how big or small. I pray that others would see your love story reflected through our love.

In Jesus's name, AMEN!


When you see your husband next, picture God handling him to you as a gift, and receive your gift by hugging your husband.

When Marriage is Hard

Today is my parent's 33rd wedding anniversary, and I'm so grateful to see the journey of their marriage. It wasn't an easy one.. a lot of challenges, a lot of fights, a lot of tears.. but at the end I can see that their relationship grow stronger and they keep loving each other until now :)

I still remember when I was a child, when my parent had a big fight and they almost wanted to give up on their marriage (surprisingly I still can remember that moment!) but thank God they decided not to give up and I can see how God restored their marriage beautifully.. Can you imagine what would happen to me and my family if they decided to give up?

Marriage is hard.. yes, I agree with it. Even the Bible says that those who marry will face many troubles in this life (1Corinthians 7:28b). It takes a lot of hard work and efforts. It is not going to be easy, but it is all worth it :)

The first year of marriage between me and my husband was also very challenging, even until now. We still face a lot of trials, challenges, differences (and I think it is something that will never end until we die, haha..) but we can always choose how do we want to respond. Do we want to give up or do we want to let God shape us more through our spouse?

When I was still single, I remember someone said to me (or maybe in one of the sermons about marriage) that when we decided to get married with someone, we have to delete the word "DIVORCE" from our dictionary. So when we fight or when we argue with our spouse, or maybe when you feel that you don't love your spouse anymore.. the word "DIVORCE" would never be an option :) Instead, we will choose to fight for our marriage and make things right with our spouse..

But sadly, the percentage of divorce in the world these days is getting higher! I read one of the articles from theriches.com about World's 10 Most Divorced Nations, and here is the percentage in 2014:

10. USA: 53%

9. France: 55%

8. Cuba: 56%

7. Estonia: 58%

6. Luxembourg: 60%

5. Spain: 61%

4. Czech Republic: 66%

3. Hungary: 67%

2. Portugal: 68%

1. Belgium: 71%

This is something that we really need to pray for.. And if we are talking about world transformation, I think this is one of the areas that need to be transformed. My heart is broken when I see this percentage and I really pray so this percentage will go lower and lower in the following years.. Let's pray for every marriage who has been struggling with this, and also for their children, for our next generation.

When marriage is hard, turn to prayer. Pray for your spouse and ask help from God to enable you to love and forgive your spouse. It is hard, but nothing too hard for our God. He is able to restore your marriage and bring back all the love and joy into your marriage. Don't give up, and see greater things that God has prepared for both of you in the future! I'm praying for you right now.. xoxo

Diamond In The Rough

This morning I had a devotion from "Wife After God" book by Jennifer Smith. And I wanna share to you a bit, what she said in the chapter that I read about Diamond In The Rough...

***

Diamonds have always been treasured as highly sought after gemstones throughout human history. They are resilient, strong, and beautiful. Diamonds are formed beneath the weight of the world. Despite the harsh conditions required to form a diamond, its name is derived from an ancient Greek word meaning unbreakable.

You are like a diamond; however, your worth is far greater! As you journey through life you will endure harsh conditions. There are so many different pressures that you may face daily. Pressures to be better, to be a superwoman, a wife that manages perfectly or a mom who does it all. Ridicule, rules, standards, and unrealistic expectations: chains wrapped around your heart, pushing against your soul, forcing you to conform to the world.

However, that is not the message found in the love story of Christ! Rather, His love says you are worth more and with Him you are unbreakable!

Like a diamond endures through time resulting in an exqusite sought after gem, you can endure every season and circumstance allowing each one to refine you, resulting in an exquisite God-fearing woman who is worthy, far more than diamonds, you are worthy! You are resilient, you are strong, you are beautiful!

***

Dear Lord,

There are so many pressures in my life. I feel heavy burdens at times and I also feel insecure that I don't always measure up to people's standards. I pray that you remind me daily to find hope in you, to rely on you and to trust what you say about me. Your opinion is truly the only one that matters!

Thank you for being my source of strength to persevere, my everything. May you continue to transform me into the woman you created me to be. Help me to see myself as beautiful. May your Holy Spirit guide me through every season, every circumstance, every pressure and every moment of intensity.

I pray that I can be a wife who endures for the sake of her marriage. Please bless my husband and release him of the burdens of this world. In Jesus' name, AMEN!

The pressure of this world cannot destroy me if I place my hope in God.

Honeymoon

Sebelum married: "Nanti kalian honeymoon ke mana?"

Sesudah married: "Kalian abis honeymoon dari mana?"

Setelah lama married: "Dulu kalian honeymoon di mana?"

Jadi pertama intinya, honeymoon itu identik sama tempat. Kalo punya budget gede, ada yang bisa honeymoon ke luar negeri or ke negara-negara yang terkenal romantis di Eropa. Kalo budget gak gede-gede amat, bisa ke luar kota (ke Bali or Lombok misalnya). But gimana kalo budgetnya bener-bener terbatas? Hmm..

Kedua, honeymoon itu identik sama newly wed, alias orang-orang yang baru abis married. Pasangan yang mau menikah juga biasanya excited mikirin rencana untuk honeymoon. But gimana dengan pasangan-pasangan yang udah lama menikah? Apa mereka masih bisa honeymoon? Hmm..

Jadi sebenernya, apa sih honeymoon itu?

A honeymoon is the traditional holiday taken by newlyweds to celebrate their marriage in intimacy and seclusion. This is the period when newly wed couples take a break to share some private and intimate moments that helps establish love in their relationship. This privacy in turn is believed to ease the comfort zone towards a physical relationship, which is one of the primary means of bonding during the initial days of marriage. -Wikipedia

So first, honeymoon is a getaway and it is not about the place. Jadi gak perlu sedih kalo kalian misalnya nanti gak bisa honeymoon ke Eropa or ke Korea (hehe..) apalagi kalo budget memang terbatas, we need to be wise as well :) Beberapa tahun yang lalu ada satu pasangan yang aku kenal di Indonesia, dan sebelum menikah, mereka bilang bahwa mereka berencana untuk honeymoon di Puncak. Jarang-jarang kan denger orang mau honeymoon di sana, hehe.. But I said, "Wow, that's great!" Karena mo honeymoon di mana aja sebenernya gak jadi masalah, yang penting bisa punya waktu berdua :)

Aku sama DM dulu juga budgetnya terbatas, kita gak pergi jauh-jauh, cuma nginep 2 malem di B&B di daerah mountain (DM cuma nyetir sekitar 30 menit dari rumah) but we had a great time :) Intinya, kita bisa punya quality time and intimate moment berdua without any distraction.. And ini juga bisa berlaku sewaktu kita kembali ke dunia nyata, hehe..

Kedua, buat aku, honeymoon gak cuma berlaku buat newly wed, tapi setelah kita udah menikah lama atau udah punya anak pun, quality time and intimacy with our spouse harus selalu jadi prioritas. Make sure setiap hari kita bisa punya waktu yang berkualitas dengan suami (mungkin after anak-anak udah pada bobo) or set time to have a special date (nonton, jalan-jalan or dinner berdua). Take a break, and enjoy your marriage relationship again.. again.. and again :)

Also enjoy physical (sexual) relationship yang udah Tuhan kasih sebagai hadiah pernikahan. Jangan biarin Iblis merebut hal ini dari kita. Setelah menikah, it is the BEST time for you to enjoy the physical (sexual) relationship with your spouse! (Bukan sebelum menikah lho ya..) Ini ada satu artikel bagus buat para married couples yang mau honeymoon lagi, hehe.. Click here:

http://fiercemarriage.com/7-reasons-getting-away-good-marriage

And you know what, pernikahan itu sebenernya sama seperti hubungan pribadi kita dengan Tuhan. Di tengah-tengah semua kesibukan kita, we need honeymoon everyday with God. Take a break and spend quality time with Him. Building an intimate relationship with Him. Gak peduli tempatnya di mana, hehe.. And gak cuma berlaku buat orang-orang yang baru bertobat or lahir baru. Kita yang udah ikut Tuhan berpuluh-puluh tahun juga bisa tetep terus mengalami yang namanya "honeymoon everyday" :)

"Lord I pray for every marriage right now, so that You will strengthen their relationship as a husband and wife. Let your love flow into their hearts and let them experience 'honeymoon' again, everyday in their marriage. I also pray for everyone who is reading this post right now, so that they will have an intimate relationship with You as well. Let them experience your love everyday in their lives. In Jesus name. Amen."

Wife After God

We love young couples! (Because we are still young couple too, hehe.. and going to celebrate our 1st anniversary soon, yay!) Meeting and sharing experience with them is really fun and also encouraging. They can understand how different it is to live as a single, and to live as a husband/wife. Our season of life has changed.. and our life as a wife suddenly become busier than before! Ha! Especially if you live in a different country, where you have no family or house maid around and have to do everything by yourself.. :p

Most of the problem is, after we get married (especially later if we already have kids), it seems like it's harder to give our time for God than when we were still single. One of my friends said that she even doesn't have a devotion time at all anymore. And I can understand that.

Apostle Paul said in 1Corinthians 7:34 that... "An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband."

When I was still single, I could get up every morning without thinking about anything else beside God. But now, everytime I get up, there is my husband beside me :p And I need to prepare his breakfast and lunch box very early in the morning. I agree that life as a wife is very busy, but it doesn't mean that you can't have time for God :)

Maybe our ways to do devotion now will be different than before. But it's okay! God wants us to be creative and try to find a new way to seek Him everyday. Here are some things that I do to build my personal relationship with God everyday as a wife, and maybe you can do the same thing too ;)

***

1. Everytime we get up (usually around 5 AM) we pray together on bed. I know we are still very sleepy, haha.. but short prayer it does matter in God's eyes :) Usually we say thanks to God for a new day, pray for one another and ask God for His protection and blessing.

2. After that prayer, my husband gets ready for work and I need to prepare his food. And after he leaves, that's the time when I can have my personal devotion at home. My husband also has his personal devotion in the car. We have a different way in doing devotion. My husband loves listening, so he does it by listening to the sermon or worship songs in a radio. He also loves to pray in a car (with eyes open of course :p) I love reading and writing. So I really need to sit down, open my Bible, read a book and write a journal. Right now I'm using a devotion book called "Wife After God" by Jennifer Smith. It is a 30-Day Devotional Book, and it's very good! Inside this book there are Bible verses that you need to read, reflection, prayer, questions and also challenge that you need to do to your husband everyday :)

3. Other things that you can do is to manage your activity during the day. Instead of checking your Facebook (or other social media), you can read a good Christian book. Or if you don't like reading, you can listen to a short sermon at reviveourhearts.com and you can listen to it while you're doing something else. Sometimes I also like to turn on a worship songs playlist at home. Maybe this can be a good idea for you.

4. After a busy day, we always close our day with a devotion time together. Sometimes we read from ODB (Our Daily Bread), but right now we are using a devotion book called "Day By Day With God" that we just got from our church. We read together and then pray together before we sleep (this time our prayer is longer than the morning one, lol). It's really good to have your husband as your spiritual partner. But if he still doesn't want, you can always have a personal devotion by yourself and keep praying for your husband :)

***

We need God in our everyday life and we need to make Him as our first priority. Let's be the wife after God!

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

- Proverbs 31:30

The Strongest Relationship On Earth

What is the strongest relationship on earth?

I can answer it with one word: MARRIAGE :)

Why Marriage?

Because marriage is the mirror of the intimate relationship between Jesus and His bride, the Church.

Marriage is the relationship that God use to reflect our relationship with Him. And it is also the first relationship that God created on earth (Adam and Eve) before the relationship between parents and children, brothers and sisters, or any other relationships.

That's why God really loves marriage, and He wants to see His children living in an intimate relationship with their husband/wife. But the problem is, the devil really really hates marriage and he wants to destroy every marriage! Last year, about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. And nearly 8 in 10 young adults in America favor same-sex marriage. My heart is broken, and I know God's heart too... :(

So today I want to challenge every married couples (especially the Christian couples) and also all of my friends who will get married soon, to see our marriage as a mission and a ministry for God. Let's build a strong and godly marriage in this world of darkness. God calls us to be the light and to be different than this world. This world needs you.. They need us to be an example and to show them the right way of marriage.

Each godly marriage can be an oasis for those who have forgotten what marriage is supposed to look like. - Gary Thomas

Some things that you can start to do today:

* For the married couples, you need to have a devotion and prayer time together with your spouse everyday. Beside that, you also need to keep having your personal time with God. Strong relationship with God is the key of a strong marriage :)

* After God, your husband/wife has to be your most important priority in your life (not your kids, parents, friends, or any other relationships). You need to always have time and communication with your spouse everyday.

* Take a short break, or maybe you can have a short getaway with your spouse (and don't let any gadgets or even your kids distract both of you). Take time together to remember again your wedding vow, or remember the first time you met each other, looking at your wedding pictures/video, holding hands, hugging, kissing and cuddling your spouse again like on your first honeymoon :)

* Don't keep any secret from your spouse. Always tell them the truth. Remember that two of you has become ONE. Make sure there is no secret password or secret chatting on your mobile phone, there is no secret bank account, there is no secret experience about your past.. Be open and you will see the difference in your marriage.

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. (Genesis 2:24;25)

* Please delete the word "divorce" from your dictionary. And don't let the devil destroy your marriage! If your spouse has decided to divorce, use the power of prayer and ask God to heal your marriage. Don't give up on him/her!

The most sacred promise we can ever make is the promise we make to God and our spouse on our wedding day. If the wedding vows don't matter, then no promise matters. (Dave Willis)

* Serve others together. When you serve others together, your marriage is also become stronger. And also teach the younger men and women how to live in godly ways.

Your marriage is a ministry where you and your husband can work together as a team to fulfill the needs of people around you, to show hospitality, to pray for people, to show compassion, to love by reflecting Christ's love as you mirror His image. (Jennifer Smith)

* For the single/unmarried people, make a commitment to live in holiness and strong relationship with God. Be an example for others by keeping your virginity and purity, and do not live in the same-sex relationship. I know these days many people support the same-sex marriage. I love those people and I don't want to judge them. But most of all, I want them to experience the truth and be transformed by God, so they can understand how marriage is supposed to look like. Pray for them!

* Beside that, if you have a desire to get married one day, pray so that God will bring you to meet the right man/woman who also fears the Lord and you can serve God together through your marriage :)

"Lord, today I pray for every marriage, so that You will strengthen them and help them to overcome every storm. Strengthen their relationship with You and also with one another as a husband and wife. I pray so their marriage can become a blessing and an example for others. I also pray for the single people, for every young men and women out there, so they can experience Your love and truth in their lives. Raise them to become a generation that live in holiness and do not live in the standard of this world. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

I Love Him Anyway

Dalam setiap pernikahan pasti ada yang namanya konflik.. kalo gak pernah ada konflik, hmm.. berarti mereka mungkin belom pernah tinggal bareng kali ya, haha.. Artikel kali ini aku mau tulis khusus buat temen-temen yang baru pada married, or yang lagi pada persiapan married.. Aku bisa bilang kalo pernikahan itu seru banget! And pastinya, kita jadi bisa belajar dan ngalamin kasih Kristus lebih lagi, melalui pasangan kita :)

Aku akhir-akhir ini lagi baca devotion dari buku Sacred Marriage (Gary Thomas), and di salah satu devotion-nya dia cerita tentang pengalaman satu pasangan suami-istri. Intinya, si istri ini berusaha untuk bisa mengubah suaminya, karena si suami ini keliatannya kayak kurang romantis. Pas Valentine, si suami cuma kasih kartu dan di dalemnya gak ditulis apa-apa, cuma ditulisin nama dia doang, haha.. Trus parahnya lagi, pas anniversary, si suami gak inget and gak ngasih apa-apa ke istrinya. Padahal si istri udah berusaha kasih hadiah macem-macem ke dia. Si istri ini juga udah coba kasih ke suaminya beberapa buku tentang how to love your spouse.. but suaminya gak tertarik buat baca tuh buku sama sekali, hahaha.. Tapi at the end, respon istrinya ini loh yang mantep, dia bilang, "I've realized it's never going to change.. But I love him anyway." :)

Gak lama setelah aku baca artikel ini, aku ngalamin konflik sama si DM, hehe.. Biasa deh, yang satu maunya A, yang satu maunya B.. And sempet bikin aku kesel.. huh.. But after that, kita pemberesan, kita cari solusinya.. and aku keinget devotion yang aku baca itu :p Lucunya pas lagi kesel-kesel gitu, aku bilang ke DM.. "I kesel sama u.. tapi tetep sayang.." (wkwkwk..) dan aku jadi ngerasa lucu sendiri.. koq bisa ya, kita tetep sayang dan mengasihi orang yang kita udah paling tau jelek-jeleknya dan paling sering konflik sama kita, haha.. koq bisa ya si DM tetep sayang dan mengasihi aku juga, padahal dia udah liat semua jelek-jeleknya aku.. Itulah indahnya pernikahan di dalam Tuhan :)

Luke 6:32-36 (NIV)

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

That's why dalam pernikahan, kita perlu yang namanya kasih Kristus.. to love our spouse "anyway", not to love him "because".. Sama seperti Kristus mengasihi kita, bukan karena perbuatan baik kita.. Tapi Dia mengasihi kita, ketika kita masih berdosa.. God loves us anyway!

Jenis kasih yang kayak gini nih yang bisa bikin pernikahan kita tetep bertahan and tetep kuat. Banyak pasangan yang akhirnya bercerai karena mereka cuma bisa mengasihi pasangan mereka kalau pasangannya bisa jadi seperti yang mereka harapkan. But masalahnya, kita menikah sama manusia (bukan sama malaikat kan? haha..) yang gak sempurna and gak bisa selalu sesuai sama harapan kita. Itulah serunya pernikahan! :p Kita jadi dapet banyak kesempatan untuk praktekin kasih Kristus setiap hari kepada pasangan kita yang gak sempurna.. karena kalo kita cuma mengasihi orang yang mengasihi kita or selalu berbuat baik sama kita, apa bedanya kita sama orang-orang di luar Tuhan? :)

To love anyway is to love like God and to learn about God's love for us, who loves the "ungrateful and wicked". That's love, Jesus style. Let's love like that. - Gary Thomas

Let's Talk About... SEX! (Part 2)

Gak lama setelah aku post artikel-ku sebelumnya, yang judulnya "Let's Talk About... SEX!" aku gak sengaja ngobrol sama satu temen kerjaku di cafe. Pas hari itu cafe juga lagi agak sepi, jadi gak ada kerjaan, hehe.. and kita punya banyak waktu buat ngobrol :p

Aku gak inget awalnya kita lagi obrolin apa, but tiba-tiba dia nanya ke aku: "So, how did you meet your husband?" Wah.. that's a long.. long.. story.. haha.. And akhirnya aku ceritain garis besar tentang our love story ke dia.. termasuk soal value kekudusan yang kita pegang selama masa pra nikah.. And dia bener-bener amazed banget pas tau kalo aku dan DM ini sama-sama belom pernah pacaran sebelumnya (the first and the last istilahnya), apalagi pas dia tau kalo kita ini jalanin hands-off relationship, and our first kiss is our wedding kiss.. Dia yang terkaget-kaget gitu deh pokoknya, wkwkwk..

Abis itu, gantian aku yang nanya dia, hehe.. "How about you? Do you have a boyfriend?" Temenku ini ceweq, sekitar umur 20 gitu kayaknya. And akhirnya dia cerita kalo dia dulu pernah punya cowoq, but putus karena LDR.. Trus baru-baru ini dia jadian sama satu cowoq (temen lama, trus ketemu lagi gitu) but dia rasanya kepengen putus sama cowoq ini, tapi gak tau gimana caranya.. And I said, "Why?!" (bukannya kerja di cafe, kita malah jadi konseling soal hubungan, haha..)

Dia cerita kalo awalnya hubungan ini oke-oke aja (namanya juga masih berbunga-bunga lha ya.. everything seems beautiful..) but lama-lama rasanya mulai boring.. nothing interesting.. sampe akhirnya.. (ini yang bikin aku deg-degan pas denger) si cowoq mulai minta sesuatu yang lebih (alias sex).. karena katanya sih, sama ceweq-ceweq dia sebelumnya juga begitu.. But temenku ini gak mau kasih, alasannya karena dia takut and dia masih virgin.. dia juga masih gak yakin sama hubungan ini.. that's why dia kepengen putus..

Di satu sisi, aku seneng karena denger dia masih virgin and gak ikutin kemauan si cowoq. Aku langsung bilang ke dia dengan tegas, "Yes.. he is not the right man for you!" and support dia untuk mutusin cowoqnya, hahaha.. But di satu sisi, I feel sad.. why? Karena melihat value kekudusan yang semakin bobrok di generasi ini.. My heart is broken.. :( :( :(

Temenku ini gak punya alasan yang kuat and dia gak ngerti kenapa dia harus menjaga kekudusan.. Intinya dia bilang, aku belom yakin sama hubungan ini jadi aku gak mau berhubungan sex, nanti kalo udah yakin baru aku kasih.. And aku langsung bilang, "NO WAY! Sex is only for married couple.. Meskipun udah yakin, harus tunggu sampai pernikahan baru boleh.." And menurut dia, sex before marriage itu cuma semacem cultural thing (sama kayak perceraian).. Apalagi di negara-negara barat kayak di Australia gini.. But you know what, semua itu bukan budaya.. semua itu dosa and kejahatan di mata Tuhan.. Jangan sampe kita tertipu, karena kita ngeliat hal ini udah jadi hal yang biasa di lingkungan temen-temen kita.. But sin is sin.. dosa adalah dosa.. and itu menyakiti hati Tuhan..

Selesai kerja hari itu, aku bener-bener kepikiran dia terus and bawa dia dalam doa. Terakhir sebelum pulang, kita udah gak bisa ngobrol banyak, jadi aku cuma encourage dia untuk terus menjaga kekudusan sampai pernikahan, and untuk berani mutusin cowoqnya juga, hahaha.. Oya satu hal lagi yang sempet bikin aku sedih, dari kasus dia aku gak ngeliat yang namanya peranan orang tua.. I don't thing her parent know about this.. Atau ortunya maybe tau but cuek aja, and gak ajarin value ke anak-anaknya.. I don't know.. But lewat hal ini aku juga jadi bisa belajar how to be a parent one day.. Kita harus tanemin nilai-nilai kekudusan, and kebenaran tentang sex ke anak-anak kita (our next generation) sebelum terlambat.. Jangan sampe mereka denger tentang sex dari pergaulan mereka.. But let them listen from the Word of God and from us as a parent..

How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.

- Psalm 119:9

30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge

Akhir-akhir ini di Facebook (and social media) lagi banyak banget ya challenge macem-macem. Ada beberapa yang sempet aku ikutin, kayak Gratitude Challenge misalnya :) And aku mau share salah satu challenge yang lagi aku jalanin bareng ci Lia dkk (kita ada satu group buat para istri gitu, hehe..) kita sama-sama jalanin yang namanya "30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge" yang kita dapetin bahannya dari sini:

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/30-day-husband-encouragement-challenge/

Here is the challenge: For thirty days, don’t say anything negative to or about your husband. Also, say something positive to and about your husband each day.

Hari ini kita udah masuk ke hari 25, hehe.. And aku merasa diberkatin banget :) Jadi setiap hari ada topik yang berbeda-beda, yang bisa kita liat di link itu.. You can try and join this challenge too if you want! ^^

Dari challenge ini aku belajar how to be my husband's cheerleader and encourager everyday. Betapa pentingnya support seorang istri di balik kesuksesan seorang suami. Selain itu, aku juga belajar untuk focusing on his strengths, apa yang jadi kekuatan dia, admire and adore him.. rather than focusing on his weaknesses.

Ternyata jadi istri itu seru ya, hehe.. And aku masih terus belajar and belajar how to be a better wife everyday, in Godly ways tentunya.. :)

Next in October (start from tomorrow), aku mo mulai join yang namanya "31 Days of Praying for Your Husband" yang bakal aku post setiap hari juga on Facebook, or kamu bisa liat di link ini:

https://www.reviveourhearts.com/articles/31-days-of-praying-for-your-husband/

Bless your husband by praying for him!

“She does him good . . .” (Proverbs 31:12a)

Remember this:

* If your marriage is doing well, then that’s going to impact the whole body of Christ. If your marriage is not doing well, that’s going to impact the whole body of Christ.

* Marriage relationship is intended to be a picture—an earthly picture—of my relationship with my Heavenly Bridegroom, the Lord Jesus.

May God bless your marriage life! :)

Let's Talk About... SEX!

Yes... why not?!

Sex adalah salah satu topik paling penting yang harus kita bahas, khususnya di kalangan anak-anak muda. Banyak gereja yang "takut" mengangkat topik ini, karena kesannya mungkin tabu and sebaiknya jangan dibahas di dalam gereja. But bersyukur akhir-akhir ini banyak gereja yang mulai terbuka, dan banyak juga penulis-penulis Kristen yang mulai membahas tentang sex di dalam artikel-artikel mereka.

Generasi kita dan generasi di bawah kita, mereka perlu tau kebenaran tentang sex. Jangan biarkan mereka "tertipu" dengan semua film yang mereka tonton, buku yang mereka baca, or pergaulan and budaya yang mengajarkan tentang sex before marriage. They need to know about the TRUTH!

Jujur, I feel really really sad melihat kondisi generasi kita saat ini. Pasangan muda yang berpacaran, gampang sekali tergoda dan jatuh dalam hubungan sex sebelum menikah. Sebaliknya, pasangan yang sudah menikah, mereka malah kehilangan gairah untuk berhubungan sex dan mereka gak bisa menikmati keindahan sex yang Tuhan berikan.

SEX is a gift from God that you can open on your wedding day!

Not on the day before!

Sebagai wanita yang sudah menikah, I can say that sex is really really a beautiful gift from God :) That's because we open it on our wedding day, as our wedding present.. and we really enjoy it until now.. Bayangin kalau kita udah buka duluan "hadiah" ini sebelum kita menikah, it won't be precious and special anymore..

1Corinthians 7:14 says.. "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband." Di ayat ini dibilang the WIFE (wanita yang sudah menikah) dan bukan wanita single. So selama kita masih single, kita masih punya hak atas tubuh kita dan gak ada satu orang pun yang berhak untuk merebut kekudusan tubuh kita.

Sewaktu aku masih single, I had a commitment (selain untuk pacaran satu kali seumur hidup) aku cuma mau menikahi pria yang bisa menjaga kekudusan dan menghargai komitmen aku dengan Tuhan. Pria yang juga punya standard kekudusan hidup yang sama. And thank God I've found that man, hehe.. Bahkan standard kekudusan kita bisa dibilang bener-bener tinggi :p

By the grace of God, kita berhasil jalanin hands-off relationship, no physical touch and berhasil untuk wujudin "my first kiss is my wedding kiss" juga di depan altar.. It's sooo beautiful!!! Gak bisa diungkapin pake kata-kata, hehe.. Aku masih inget after the wedding, si DM langsung peluk and rangkul aku terus, hihi.. And pas lagi foto post-wedding, dia juga langsung kiss aku terus, wkwkwk.. I can see how proud and how happy he is :) Pas di akhir acara wedding, aku juga sempet said thank you to him (in front of public) karena dia udah bener-bener menjaga kekudusan aku selama masa pacaran, karena dia udah berusaha untuk bener-bener gak menyentuh aku sama sekali, haha.. and I really appreciate it :)

So buat para single ladies, inget bahwa tubuhmu itu adalah Bait Allah.. it belongs to God and to your husband (later!) Don't open it until your wedding day.. jangan pernah turunin standard.. and you'll see how beautiful it is.. :)

Buat yang udah menikah, buat para istri.. remember that your body is no longer yours, but it belongs to your husband. Build intimacy in your marriage life (including sex). Serve your husband with all your heart and enjoy your intimacy with him.. Buat yang udah lama gak pernah physical touch, ayo mulai dibangun lagi.. Hug, kiss and cuddle your husband again.. :)

"It is our prayer that you and your spouse would see sex as a gift from God. A gift to be stewarded. A gift to be guarded. A gift to be enjoyed. And a gift to be shared together for God's glory and your good."

- Mark Driscoll

The Marriage Prayer

Akhirnya setelah melewati busy weeks, hari ini aku bisa off di rumah seharian :) And cuaca di sini hari ini enak banget, aku dari tadi jadi berasa kayak lagi ada di vila di Puncak gitu, hahaha.. *lebay* :p

Anyway, kali ini aku cuma mo share 1 lagu by John Waller yang judulnya "The Marriage Prayer".. I love this song! Sebelumnya, aku cuma tau lagu dia yang judulnya "As For Me And My House" but ternyata lagu dia yang lain juga bagus-bagus :)

So, here it is.. and buat pasangan yang udah menikah, let this be our prayer as well.. :)

***

Father, I said till death do us part

I want to mean it with all of my heart

Help me to love You more than I love her

Then I know I can love her more

Than anyone else

And bring her in your presence today

Make her what You want her to be

I pray to hear her heart

I pray she'll love You more

I pray to cherish and serve her

And we'll bring You glory today, I pray

Father, I said till death do us part

I want to mean it with all of my heart

Help me to love You more than I love him

Then I know I can love him more

Than anyone else

And bring him in your presence today

Make him what You want him to be

I pray to hear his heart
I pray he'll love You more
I pray to strengthen and serve him
And we'll bring You glory today, I pray

Lord, help me love her

As You love the church, your bride

Help me submit to him

As I submit to You, my life

This is my prayer Amen

***

The Story Behind My Wedding Dress

Persiapan wedding itu memang "sesuatu" banget! Duit ratusan juta bisa habis dalam sekejap, apalagi kalo pestanya di Indonesia, bisa milyaran kali ya sekarang, haha.. Tapi dari dulu aku selalu punya impian kepengen wedding yang simple but meaningful :) Thanks God akhirnya Tuhan kasih aku wedding di Australia, and pesta tunangan di Indonesia, jadi bisa lebih simple, hehe..

Salah satu hal penting yang harus dipikirin dalam persiapan wedding adalah soal budget. I know God can provide everything that we need, but bukan berarti kita gak perlu pake hikmat and semuanya harus serba mewah :p Kita harus tau hal apa aja yang mau kita prioritasin..

Waktu aku and DM udah mulai masuk persiapan wedding, dia tanya ke aku, hal apa aja yang penting buat aku (karena biasanya ceweq yang banyak maunya soal urusan wedding, hehe..) Ada yang memang mau prioritasin budgetnya ke wedding dress, ada yang mau spend more money ke venue/tempat, ada yang ke wedding cake, ada yang ke dekorasi, makanan, dan lain sebagainya..

And I said to him, kalo buat aku.. aku bener-bener gak prioritasin soal dress, tempat, dekorasi, cake, makanan, dll.. but aku mo prioritasin souvenir (buku "Our Love Story" maksudnya, haha..) trus dokumentasi (terutama harus ada video, supaya orang-orang yang di Indonesia and di seluruh dunia juga bisa nonton :p) sama terakhir (yang ini sih gak perlu keluar biaya) aku mau fokus di acara and suasana.. it has to be meaningful, touching.. and pengen ada first dance kalo bisa, hehe..

So, karena udah tau mana yang prioritas, jadi budget-budget yang lain bisa kita kurangin.. wedding dress misalnya :)

Aku sempet mampir ke beberapa bridal di Jakarta, buat iseng-iseng nyobain baju sambil survey harga.. and wow, harga sewa wedding dress ternyata mahal juga ya.. meskipun udah termasuk paket dsb. tetep aja mahal :p Padahal cuma buat dipake sehari, and abis itu langsung dibalikin lagi.. Duit 10-15 juta langsung hilang dalam sehari, hehe.. Bukan cuma di Indo, buat sewa wedding dress di Aussie juga malah lebih mahal lagi, haha.. Kata temen-temen sih sekitar 2000 AUD (sekitar 20 juta). So, gimana dong solusinya biar gak usah keluar duit segitu banyak?

Caranya adalah, aku bikin bajunya di Indo.. trus dibawa ke Aussie, hehe.. Ternyata harga buat bikin itu jauh lebih murah daripada sewa. Selain bisa jadi hak milik seumur hidup, kita juga bisa nentuin sendiri model bajunya mau kayak gimana :) Aku search di internet, sempet bingung juga karena banyak bener pilihannya.. but akhirnya aku milih satu model baju yang di-design Vera Wang (trus aku tambahin bagian pundaknya biar gak terlalu terbuka) So, kayak begini deh jadinya.. :)

Model baju ini gak ada "buntut" nya, jadi aku sengaja beli veil yang agak panjang buat dijadiin buntut, hehe.. Trus pas selesai pemberkatan, aku lepas veil nya supaya bisa dance and gak keserimpet (ampun deh bahasanya, tapi ngerti kan maksudnya? haha..)

Aku bener-bener gak nyesel sih bikin baju ini.. siapa tau one day bisa buat dipake lagi and buat foto-foto lagi (kalo masih muat tapi ya, wkwkwk..) And aku jadi suka saranin ke temen-temen yang mo married untuk bikin, daripada sewa.. Memang harganya beda jauh banget ya? Yup, jauh banget.. Biaya yang dikeluarin buat bikin baju ini, sama baju tunangan aku yang warna ungu, total semuanya (buat 2 baju lho ya..) masih di bawah 4 juta! So we can save our money buat hal-hal yang laen, hehe..

So inti dari cerita aku kali ini (khususnya buat yang lagi pada persiapan wedding), just be wise.. khususnya dalam ngatur soal budget.. The most beautiful wedding is not always the most expensive one :) Kecuali kalo memang orang tua kita yang mau dan mereka yang biayain buat semuanya, ya apa boleh buat, terima aja, haha.. Yang penting semua bisa happy :p But I know ada beberapa pasangan yang harus siapin budget and harus ngatur semuanya sendiri.. Or ada yang mau married di luar negeri, and lagi kebingungan soal wedding dress, maybe this can be an idea for you :)

So, all the best buat semua yang lagi pada persiapan wedding.. Kamu juga bisa baca artikel aku yang judulnya There is no "Perfect Wedding" di sini:

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2013/04/there-is-no-perfect-wedding.html

Be blessed! :)