God’s Will or My Will?

“I want to travel all over the world and become a full time missionary!”

Yes, that’s my dream when I was young. I love traveling. I love serving God in a mission field. I also met my husband in a mission trip. Everything seems goes in line with my dream.

Now I’m 37, I become a stay at home mom and homeschool mom of 3 boys. Despite all the challenges, I love being a mom. But honestly sometimes there is a question in my heart, “Why am I here, Lord? Why my life now is so different?”

Changing nappies, nursing and feeding the kids, juggling with so many house chores, dealing with kids tantrums or fights, doing the same things and same activities day after day.. I thought I’d be like those missionaries who travel to so many places and serve many people.. Why, Lord? Why?

God finally answered my question in a very unique way. He spoke to me through someone’s posting in social media. This lady also has the same experience and she used to ask God the same questions. Through her posting, God really spoke to me:

“Is it your will or My will?”

“Is it your dream or My dream?”

Wow! That really made me thinking and also crying. I didn’t realise that this is what God wants me to do, this is His dream and His calling for my life: to do His mission work in my home. He wants me to follow His will and His plan, not mine. He wants me to be faithful in this ministry called motherhood. He wants me to learn to be faithful in small things every single day and to do all the unseen things with all my heart. He wants me to do everything as doing it for the Lord!

No matter where we are right now, whether we are in a mission field or in a working place or even at home, we can still serve God! Don’t be discouraged and disappointed when we don’t get the life that we expected.. but let’s follow God’s will, God’s plan and God’s dream for us, and live it to the fullest!

Now I’m grateful and thankful for God’s special calling for my life, to be a wife to an amazing husband and also to be a mother to my 3 wonderful boys. Now I believe that God’s will is always better than my will.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭11‬