ABCs of being a Help Meet

(Source: "Created to Be His Help Meet" book by Debi Pearl)

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A - Admit when you are wrong

B - Be positive

C - Cuddle

D - Do it his way

E - Encourage him

F - Fix his breakfast

G - Give back rubs

H - Hug often

I - "I love you" should be said many times daily

J - Joke around in a playful manner

K - Know his needs

L - Listen to him

M - Manage your home well

N - Never hold grudges

O - Open your eyes in the morning and smile

P - Pray for him

Q - Quit nagging him

R - Reminisce about good times

S - Show respect and honor

T - Trust, and earn his trust

U - Understand his need for reverence

V - Vulnerability is a feminine trait; cultivate it

W - Wink at him

X - X is for private times

Y - Yearn to please him

Z - Zealously guard him with your love

***

Ministry at HOME

Akhir-akhir ini banyak orang yang suka tanya ke aku: "Cella gimana di Melbourne betah ga? Sekarang ngapain aja sehari-hari di rumah? Bosen or kesepian ga di rumah setiap hari?" And honestly aku selalu jawab.. "Aku udah mulai betah koq di sini, hehe.. and ga merasa bosen or kesepian sama sekali di rumah, lumayan banyak kegiatan juga soalnya :)"

Memang saat ini aku belom bisa kerja di sini, karena masih dalam proses visa. But di satu sisi, aku juga lagi enjoy banget with my new role as a housewife :) Aku juga ga perlu buru-buru cari kerja cuma karena merasa bosen or kesepian, justru menurutku 2 bulan terakhir ini adalah waktu yang pas banget buat aku adjust sama kehidupan baru aku di Melbourne, adjust sama DM and sama kehidupan di rumah yang baru juga.. Aku jadi bisa ngerti yang namanya pelayanan full time as a wife, bukan cuma pelayanan di gereja atau di dunia kerja.. Now I have a new ministry.. at HOME :)

I considered my marriage to be my career for the rest of my life, and I intended to be successful at it.

- Freida Lansing

Setiap hari, at least ada 1 orang (orang yang sangat penting) yang harus aku layani, yang namanya DM, haha.. And bakal ada tambahan beberapa orang lainnya lagi nanti kalo kita udah punya anak :p Pelayanan sebagai istri di rumah memang bukan berkhotbah, bukan mimpin pujian, bukan sesuatu yang keliatannya WOW.. but coba renungin deh apa kata Kolose 3:23 - "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters."

Ini ayat yang selalu aku pegang setiap kali lagi doing house chores.. waktu lagi bangun pagi siapin breakfast and lunch box buat suami yang mau berangkat kerja, waktu lagi laundry, lagi ngejemur baju or lagi ngangkat jemuran, waktu lagi nyapu, ngepel, vacum lantai, waktu lagi masak, waktu pergi belanja groceries, waktu nyambut suami yang baru pulang kerja, waktu lagi pijetin suami (or disuruh injekin badan suami juga kadang-kadang, hahaha..) waktu kasih quiet time buat suami supaya dia bisa istirahat and tidur (kayak sekarang sore-sore gini nih :)) waktu kasih kata-kata encouragement buat suami, waktu lagi saat teduh, doa buat suami.. pokoknya in whatever I do.. always remember, it's all now my new ministry at home as a wife :)

The goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Make your home a haven of rest and peace.

- Debi Pearl

So, buat para full time housewife or full time mom yang ga kerja.. inget kalo kita ini juga punya peranan yang sangat penting (meskipun kita ga digaji :p) Setiap hari kita punya tanggung jawab besar to bring influence into our family (to our husbands and children). Ada 1 buku bagus banget yang dikasih mentorku (ci Lia) sebelum aku married, judulnya Created to Be His Help Meet karangan Debi Pearl (recommended banget buat para istri) and aku suka baca buku ini setiap hari.. It's really a good reminder for me, helps me to learn and grow to become a Godly wife :) Inget kalo ministry kita sekarang bukan cuma di gereja, di dunia kerja or di ladang misi.. but our ministry starts at home.. starts from our relationship with God and with our family :)

Your relationship with your husband is the single most important role you will ever play. If you fail here, then you have failed at your life's work and have missed God's perfect plan.

- Debi Pearl

A Happy Wife # Part 3

Read the previous posts here:

A Happy Wife # Part 1

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/a-happy-wife-part-1.html

A Happy Wife # Part 2

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/a-happy-wife-part-2.html

3. Happiness is Contagious

Udah sering denger istilah ini? "Happy Wife... Happy Life..." :)

Sometimes aku suka tanya ke DM kalo dia abis pulang kerja or sebelum tidur: "Hon, are you happy today?" Trus biasanya dia malah nanya balik: "Are you happy? If you are happy, I'm happy.." (and aku nya jadi senyum-senyum sendiri deh, hihi..)

Kadang orang-orang suka pakai istilah ini buat becanda, but actually it's so true.. A happy wife bisa bikin suasana satu rumah jadi happy.. and sebaliknya, an unhappy woman juga bisa bikin suasana rumah jadi unhappy.. wow.. our happiness is contagious!

The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down - Proverbs 14:1

Aku gak bakal bahas panjang lebar di part yang terakhir ini, but always remember kalo kehadiran kita di rumah sebagai seorang isteri tuh besar banget pengaruhnya.. To be a happy and joyful wife is one of the best gifts that we can give to our husbands :)

So, what kind of atmosphere that you want to build in your house and in your family? How often do you smile and laugh at home? Are you a happy wife?

Ada hari-hari di mana aku gagal untuk jadi a happy wife (artikel-artikel ini juga berlaku as a reminder buat aku juga lho, masih sama-sama belajar, hehe..) but yang udah lewat ya gak usah diinget-inget lagi :) Kita masih punya hari ini.. we can be a happy wife today :) Let's pray so that God will pour His unlimited joy into our hearts.. smile.. and bring that joy into our family..

Happy wife.. happy husband.. happy kids.. happy world! hehe.. ^^

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.

- Philippians 4:4, ESV

A Happy Wife # Part 2

Read the previous post "A Happy Wife # Part 1" here:

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/a-happy-wife-part-1.html

2. Happiness comes from CONTENTMENT

Be happy with who you are right now, and stop comparing yourself with another wives.. It's ok to learn from them, but not to compare.. I think ini salah satu hal yang paling banyak bikin wanita feel unhappy about herself.. Kita jadi merasa down karena kita liat para isteri lain yang lebih cantik, lebih modis, lebih disayang suami, lebih jago masak, lebih kaya, lebih smart, lebih hebat dalam pelayanan, lebih beruntung (keliatannya :p), lebih dan lebih segala-galanya daripada kita.. Apalagi sekarang lewat social media, orang-orang kayak "bersaing" untuk nunjukin who they really are or how happy their lives are.. Coba baca quote ini deh:

Don't fall into the "Comparison Trap." You don't have to compare your life to anyone else's! You can learn from others, but you don't have to "keep up" with anyone. Also, remember that most of what people post on social media is their highlight reel, not their struggles, so don't compare their "greatest hits" to your everyday life.

- from "Marriage" Facebook Page

Pas baca quote ini aku langsung teriak dalam hati, "SETUJU!" hehe.. I believe that everyone of us is special and Tuhan punya rencana yang beda-beda for us as a wife.. Karena Tuhan juga punya tujuan / visi yang khusus buat suami kita :) I wanna learn to be happy with who I am right now and focus on the potential that God has put in me (daripada sibuk merhatiin kelebihan orang lain, haha..)

A content woman juga gak akan mudah kepengaruh sama lingkungannya.. because she knows who she really is in God.. jangan kira cuma wanita single aja yang perlu kebenaran ini, but wanita yang udah menikah juga perlu banget untuk terus di-remind about this.. Lebih baik "bersaing" untuk jadi wanita yang lebih happy (happy di dalam Tuhan maksudnya, hehe..) because the true happiness only comes from God alone.. So, be content in Him!

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. - Philippians 4:11, ESV

Aku bersyukur aku punya suami yang cinta Tuhan and dia gak menuntut macem-macem.. Dia gak pernah nuntut aku untuk jadi isteri yang kayak begini or begitu, or jadi kayak isteri orang lain, haha.. (warning nih buat para suami, jangan pernah bandingin isteri kalian sama isteri orang lain, it will hurt her so much!) but dasar cella :p kadang ada juga pikiran kayak gini.. "maybe kalo aku kayak begini, baru DM happy kali ya.. or aku harus kayak begitu baru dia happy.." dan lain sebagainya.. ujung-ujungnya malah aku yang jadi gak happy, because I don't feel content with myself.. Padahal what can make him happy is a happy wife.. haha..

Aku inget satu kalimat yang pernah DM ucapin waktu aku tuh kayak lagi feel overwhelmed with so many things.. Pokoknya intinya dia bilang, "besok ambil waktu to spend time with God.. because that's what I love from you.." (udah ga terlalu inget, but gitu deh kira-kira intinya, hehe..) Ternyata hal yang terpenting yang harus kita prioritasin as a wife, bukannya masak / doing laundry / penampilan / macem-macem lainnya.. but balik lagi ke our personal relationship with God.. Itu hal yang bikin DM "jatuh cinta" sama aku, wkwkwk.. and aku gak boleh kehilangan hal itu :)

So, buat para isteri.. udah menikah bukan berarti Tuhan jadi nomor dua lho ya.. Dia harus selalu jadi yang nomor satu.. Spend time with Him.. listen to His words.. so you'll know who you really are in God.. You are a beautiful and precious wife :)

Continue to # Part 3...

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/a-happy-wife-part-3.html

A Happy Wife # Part 1

2 bulan pernikahan.. kalo kata orang, masih seumur jagung and masih masa-masa honeymoon.. But nyatanya, ngga juga sih, haha.. meskipun baru 2 bulan married (emang sih rasanya kayak masih pacaran :p) but bukan berarti kita gak pernah ada konflik or gak ada tantangan dsb. Justru ini masa-masa adjustment and banyak differences yang mulai bermunculan.. yang satu sukanya makan di meja makan, yang satu sukanya makan di sofa sambil nonton.. yang satu suka makan ayam, yang satu anti banget sama ayam, hahaha.. yang satu kalo kerjain apa-apa cepet banget and multi-tasking, yang satu lama banget and single-tasking.. yang satu very flexible, satu lagi very organize.. (coba tebak sendiri lah ya aku sama DM yang mana, wkwkwk..)

But, marriage life is fun and awesome :) Maybe I can say that this is one of the most exciting journey in my life.. I learn a lot, not only about the marriage life itself, but I also learn more about myself and my relationship with God..

Ada banyak stories, lessons, pengalaman yang bakal mulai aku share satu per satu di blog ini.. Buat para single ladies, bukan berarti kalian gak perlu baca.. Justru penting banget untuk belajar dari sekarang to prepare yourself to be a helpmeet to your prince one day :)

So today, aku mau share tentang becoming a happy wife.. Mungkin sewaktu single kita pernah bilang, "ah.. nanti gue pasti bakal happy kalo gue udah married sama pria impian gue.." Hmm.. are you sure??

In our lives as wives, ada begitu banyak hal setiap hari yang sebenernya bisa bikin kita feel unhappy.. aku juga masih terus belajar setiap hari how to be a happy wife, it's a learning process.. and ada 3 hal yang lagi jadi pegangan aku hari-hari ini:

1. Happiness is a Decision

To be a happy wife, bukan ditentuin sama keadaan or kejadian-kejadian di hidup kita.. but it's about our decision.. we wanna choose to be happy or unhappy in that kind of situation? What things that usually make you feel unhappy?

Aku termasuk tipe wanita melankolis / cermat / perfeksionis yang selalu mau semuanya serba rapih, teratur and excellent, hehe.. So I know what makes me feel unhappy sometimes is when unexpected things happen.. or pas liat rumah berantakan, ada barang-barang yang tiba-tiba "koq bisa ada di sini sih?" haha.. Atau pas ada banyak kerjaan rumah numpuk, masakan ga terlalu enak, bikin kue gagal, ketinggalan bus/train, suami sakit, shower di kamar mandi bocor, dan sebagainya.. kadang cuma hal-hal sepele but itu bisa mencuri joy from our hearts.. apalagi wanita kalo lagi dalam masa PMS, tiba-tiba bisa bad mood sendiri tanpa sebab, akhirnya yang kena suami kita :p

Now I learn that happiness is a decision.. we can't change the circumstances, but we can change our reaction.. ngomong sih gampang ya, but prakteknya itu loh.. haha.. I know it's hard, but we can learn to enjoy and cherish every moment.. It's ok to laugh at yourself sometimes, and also laugh together with your spouse :p

I remember few days ago waktu aku minta tolong DM untuk taro beberapa kaleng di atas lemari (karena ketinggian and aku gak nyampe) and dia taro dengan cara dia.. for me, itu gak keliatan rapih, haha.. aku bisa aja feel unhappy, ambil kursi, naek and beresin sendiri :p but saat itu aku malah ketawa ngakak.. aku peluk DM and bilang ke dia "honey, look at that.. (sambil nunjuk ke lemari)" akhirnya kita jadi sama-sama ketawa gara-gara ngeliat kaleng yang aku susun sama kaleng yang dia susun itu beda banget.. LOL! *penting nih khususnya buat kalian yang perfeksionis or kalian yang bakal menikah sama orang perfeksionis* haha.. Cherish every moment :)

And the most important thing.. why we decide to be happy? Because we know that we have God (the Source of JOY) in our hearts.. He is in control of everything that happen in our lives.. and we have no reason to not being happy :) Beberapa hal yang biasanya aku suka lakuin di rumah: baca ayat-ayat di kitab Mazmur, pasang lagu-lagu praise and worship waktu lagi masak or lagi ngapain aja biar selalu inget buat muji Tuhan and gak ada pikiran aneh-aneh yang masuk, hehe.. and don't forget to smile and laugh often :)

Let all that I am praise the LORD;

with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.

Let all that I am praise the LORD;

may I never forget the good things he does for me.

- Psalm 103:1-2, NLT

Continue to # Part 2...

http://marcellaflaorenzia.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/a-happy-wife-part-2.html

Our Wedding Song - Love Never Fails

Hi all... just wanna share our wedding song that we used when I walked down the aisle :) Our wedding theme was LOVE NEVER FAILS (1Corinthians 13) and this song is really a good reminder for us to keep loving each other with God's love.. until death do us part.. Enjoy the song! ^^

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LOVE NEVER FAILS

(Jim Brickman and Amy Sky)

Love, love is patient, love is kind

Love, does not worry, does not boast

It is not proud, it is not rude, it is not easily angered

Love keeps no record of wrongs

Love never fails, never fails

I promise you, my love will never fail

And I will give to you

Faith, hope and love

Love does not delight in evil

Love will always protect

Always trust and always hope and it will persevere

Love rejoices in truth

Love never fails, never fails

I promise you, my love will never fail

And I will give to you

Faith, hope and love

Love never fails, never fails

I promise you, my love will never fail

And I will give to you

Faith, hope and love

But the greatest of these is love

I'll give you love