Soon To Be (Godly) Wife

hug you in my prayer.... keep smiling  bentar lagi jd istri orang *uhuk-uhuk*
(message from Lia Stoltzfus 27/8/2013)

Hahaha... iya nih, gak nyangka bentar lagi bakal jadi istri orang... padahal kemaren-kemaren kayaknya masih single, masih doain soal pasangan hidup, gak pernah kebayang kapan bakal married and sama siapa... ternyata sekarang udah di depan mata, wkwkwk... But hidup itu seru ya, ada stage and season yang berbeda yang harus kita lewatin... and I wanna enjoy it! Dari masih single, trus masuk in a relationship, persiapan jadi istri, married, punya anak-cucu, sampe jadi nenek-nenek and then dipanggil Tuhan nanti... I wanna let my life be like an open book, so others may see God and they can be blessed + inspired through my journey of life :)

Sekarang ini aku lagi ada di stage di mana aku bisa bilang, "Oh... begini toh rasanya punya pasangan (punya cowoq tepatnya)", "Oh... gini yah rasanya LDR", "Oh... ternyata begini yang namanya persiapan wedding", "Oh... gini rasanya kalo udah mo jadi istri orang" wkwkwk... :p And sekarang aku jadi bisa ngerti kalo ada orang yang share/curhat tentang pasangan mereka, couples yang lagi in LDR, or ngeliat para ceweq yang pusing gara-gara urusan wedding, dsb. Wow... now I know how it feels (dulu pas masih jomblo gak pernah ngerasain soalnya, hehe...)

And maybe I can say buat kalian yang juga lagi ada di stage ini, I think this is the right time for us to prepare ourselves to be a Godly wife :) Ini bener-bener time for preparation... and time for God to shape us! haha... Aku ngerasain banget soalnya, selama hampir 10 bulan jadian sama DM, oh man... banyak up and down nya... seorang Cella ini kayak lagi "dihancurin" sama Tuhan buat disiapin jadi seorang Godly wife... Ada saatnya aku bandel (sering malah :p) and punya respon yang jelek banget... Aku sering gagal, and kadang heran sama diri aku sendiri... Seorang Cella yang biasanya kuat, bisa dewasa and calm hadepin orang... eh, pas berhadapan sama DM, sifat childish-nya keluar semua, haha... bisa sebel and nangis bahkan cuma gara-gara hal sepele... Kalo lagi PMS apalagi, si DM yang paling sering jadi sasaran sensi tuh kayaknya, wkwkwk... *peace* :p Sampe satu kali, si DM pernah bilang ke aku: "Ternyata bener-bener yah... woman is complicated..." hahaha... baru tau dia... (don't try to understand woman, hihi...) Bahkan aku juga pernah keluarin kata-kata yang tanpa sadar, it made him feel hurt (kalo orang stabil kayak dia feel hurt, itu udah luar biasa berarti, haha...)

But aku inget ci Lia sering bilang, setiap kita pasti pernah gagal, yang penting terus punya hati yang mau dibentuk dan diajar... And aku juga bersyukur, aku punya Tuhan plus punya DM yang panjang sabar... easy to forgive, easy to forget, and always give me a second chance (itulah salah satu keuntungan punya pasangan orang stabil, hihi...) They open their hearts for my failures and mistakes... and justru itu yang bikin aku mau terus berubah and berubah to become a better woman :)

On the other hands, aku bersyukur sih semua proses ini bisa kita lewatin sebelum kita married... Justru lebih bagus malah, daripada hubungan adem-ayem aja, jadi kayak malaikat semua, trus pas married baru SURPRISE! Ini lho sifat asli gue... *pingsan deh* haha... Lewat semua ini, we get to know each other better... and aku juga jadi bisa mulai belajar dari sekarang to be a Godly spouse for him... I learn to be someone who love him unconditionally, learn to be his biggest supporter (especially through prayer), learn to appreciate him and be proud of him, learn to focus more on what he needs and what he likes, learn to not blame/complain about him, learn to be a cheerful and happy spouse (haha...) and of course, learn to be the woman who always lives in the fear of God... I wanna be a blessing for DM :)

He who finds a wife finds what is good
    and receives favor from the Lord.
- Proverbs 18:22, NIV

A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
- Proverbs 31:10-12, MSG

Aku rindu supaya pas kita married nanti, on our wedding day... DM bisa bilang kalo dia udah mendapatkan sesuatu yang baik... favor from the Lord :) bukan sesuatu yang nyebelin, rese, nyusahain, banyak bikin masalah and bikin pusing, hahaha... I also want him to get a "diamond" --> wife that can bring a blessing and prosperity into his life... bukan malah dapet "burung beo" yang kerjaannya tiap hari ngoceh-ngoceh (u musti begini dong! u musti begitu dong! wkwkwk...) poor DM kalo aku jadi istri yang kayak begitu :p I have waited for him for a long time (udah 26 taon nunggu kehadiran dia) and I don't wanna waste him... I want to appreciate him as my soon to be (Godly) husband :)

I wanna let God to shape me to become more beautiful day by day and be prepared to be your bride and help meet, DM... I *smurf* you! (belom boleh ucapin love words soalnya, wkwkwk... :p)

It's easy for a man to find a woman with which to have fun for a short period of time. But there is only one woman in his life that is good for him over the long run, and that is a Godly wife.
- Robb Thompson

Ezer Kenegdo

I remember one article, yang pernah di-tag DM ke aku on Facebook. Judulnya "An Irreplaceable Role as an Ezer Kenegdo". Intinya, dia kutip dari buku "Captivating" (by John and Stasi Eldredge) tentang wanita yang diciptakan Tuhan sebagai Ezer Kenegdo... Aku mo share juga di sini, and hope u'll be blessed after reading this :)

Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, pages 31-33, 42:

“When God creates Eve, He calls her an ezer kenegdo. “It is not good for the man to be alone, I shall make him [an ezer kenegdo]” (Gen. 2:18). Hebrew scholar Robert Alter, who has spent years translating the book of Genesis, says that this phrase is “notoriously difficult to translate.” The various attempts we have in English are “helper” or “companion” or the notorious “help meet.” Why are these translations so incredibly wimpy, boring, flat… disappointing? What is a help meet, anyway? What little girl dances through the house singing “One day I shall be a help meet?” Companion? A dog can be a companion. Helper? Sounds like Hamburger Helper. Alter is getting closer when he translates it “sustainer beside him.”

The word ezer is used only twenty other places in the entire Old Testament. And in every other instance the person being described is God Himself, when you need Him to come through for you desperately.

“Blessed are you, O Israel! Who is like you, a people saved by the Lord? He is your shield and helper and your glorious sword” (Deut. 33:26,29).

“I lift up my eyes to the hills–where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth” (Psalm 121:1-2).

“May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May He send you help” (Ps 20:1-2).

“We wait in hope for the Lord, He is our help and our shield” (Psalm 33:20).

Most of the contexts are life and death, by the way, and God is your only hope. Your ezer. If He is not there beside you… you are dead. A better translation therefore of ezer would be “lifesaver.” Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.

You see, the life of God calls us to is not a safe life. Ask Joseph, Abraham, Moses, Deborah, Esther – any of the friends of God from the Old Testament. Ask Mary or Lazarus; ask Peter, James, and John; ask Priscilla and Aquila – any of the friends of God in the New Testament. God calls us to a life involving frequent risks and many dangers. Why else would we need Him to be our ezer? You don’t need a lifesaver if your mission is to be a couch potato. You need an ezer when your life is in constant danger.

Picture the character of Arwen in the mythic motion-picture trilogy, The Lord of the Rings. Arwen is a princess, a beautiful and brave elf maiden. She comes into the story in the nick of time to rescue the little hobbit Frodo just as the poisoned wound moving toward his heart is about to claim him… It is she, not the warrior Aragorn, who rides with glory and speed [to take him to her father]. She is Frodo’s only hope. She is the one entrusted with his life and with him, the future of all Middle Earth. She is his ezer kenegdo.

That longing in the heart of a woman to share life together as a great adventure – that comes straight from the heart of God, who also longs for this. He does not want to be an option in our lives. He does not want to be an appendage, a tagalong. Neither does any woman. God is essential. He wants us to need Him–desperately. Eve is essential. She has an irreplaceable role to play. And so you’ll see that women are endowed with fierce devotion, an ability to suffer great hardships, a vision to make the world a better place.

A woman is not here merely to complete a man, and therefore a single woman is somehow missing her destiny… It is God who longs to be our ezer… You are the image bearer of this God. This is why you long for these things too. There is a radiance hidden in your heart that the world desperately needs.”


Time flies! Yes... it does!

in 34 more days... I'll be in Cambodia for a mission trip and will see DM again :)

in 47 more days... our Engagement day and we'll be launching "Our Love Story" book!

in 134 more days... I'll be moving to Australia, and have to say good-bye to Indonesia :(

in 166 more days... our Wedding day and I'll start my new life as a wife (haha...)

What a journey of life! Life is good... :)

Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
- Psalm 90:12, NIV

LDR... oh... LDR...

LDR... oh... LDR... Ternyata begini toh rasanya LDR... hahaha... Dari dulu aku emang kepengen sih rasain yang namanya LDR (Long Distance Relationship) and ternyata beneran God kasih aku pasangan yang nan jauh di sana... Lumayan jauh, lumayan lama, sampe kadang-kadang rasanya "Tuhan, udah cukup deh kayaknya..." wkwkwk... :p

Aku sama DM udah langsung mulai LDR dari awal kita jadian (11-11-12) karena kita jadiannya by phone... pas dia lagi di Aussie, aku di Indo... Awal-awal masih gampang tuh rasanya, karena belom ketemu... Sebulan kemudian, dia dateng ke Indo... Wah, happy banget tuh pokoknya... but sayangnya cuma seminggu :(

After that, kita jalanin LDR yang lumayan panjang (dari Desember 2012 - May 2013) udah lumayan berat tuh rasanya... and lucunya, di bulan-bulan itu aku lumayan sering sakit and sakitnya gak jelas kenapa... eh, si DM malah suka becandain aku and bilang kalo aku tuh kena virus "malarindu tropikangen" (wkwkwk... baru pernah denger tuh jenis virus kayak begitu :p) Anyway, di bulan-bulan itu juga kita mulai suka konflik, mulai banyak tantangan, gesekan dll... jarang ketemu bukan berarti konflik berkurang... malah banyak! hahaha...

Akhirnya, di bulan May 2013, kita ketemu lagi!! Aku main ke Aussie selama hampir 3 minggu... Kali ini, rasanya malah aneh pas ketemu... kayak ketemu orang asing, wkwkwk... mungkin karena udah kelamaan LDR... padahal kalo ngobrol di telepon, kita bisa bawel... eh pas ketemu langsung, kita malah canggung, gak tau mo ngomong apa... alhasil, sempet banyak konflik juga pas kita di sana (but banyak happy-nya juga koq, apalagi pas kita pergi nge-date, hihihi...) ^^

Nah, setelah balik dari Aussie, ini LDR makin berat aja rasanya... Lucu yah kita LDR-nya kayak bertahap gitu, haha... Kali ini kita harus jalanin LDR dari May 2013 kemaren sampe September (bulan depan! yay!) Mulai berat juga karena kita sambil persiapan buat engagement and wedding... Ada saatnya aku ngerasa kayak, "DM... I really wish you were here, and kita bisa ngurusin bareng-bareng..." karena beda banget rasanya sama pasangan-pasangan lain yang gak LDR, yang ke mana-mana bisa bareng (urusin tempat, vendor, undangan, cincin kawin, dll...) but lewat ini, aku jadi bisa belajar and diproses dalam banyak hal :)

Kemaren ini pas lagi agak feel overwhelmed gara-gara all the preparation, DM said this word of encouragement to me:

"I can feel your feeling... Keep smiling... The harder the lesson, the greater the reward... The reward is to be a blessing for others who will go through LDR... u can do it... i can do it... we can do it... by His strength..."

huhuhu... *tears*... but that's true, aku jadi bisa ngerti gimana perasaan orang-orang yang jalanin LDR... it's not easy... gak heran juga, banyak pasangan yang bubar di tengah jalan... I know that God has a purpose through our LDR... is to be a blessing for others! Supaya bisa men-encourage temen-temen lain yang lagi jalanin LDR juga :)

So... yep... perjalanan LDR kami belum berakhir, haha... Aku and DM bakal ketemu lagi di Kamboja bulan depan (tempat pertama kali kami ketemu, uhuy! :p) and abis itu dia bakal ikut balik ke Jakarta... So, maybe kali ini kita bakal spend time bareng sekitar 2-3 minggu... And then... LDR lagi!! hahaha... But that will be our last one (I hope!) dari Oktober 2013 - January 2014... gak kebayang bakal gimana rasanya, bakal makin berat aja kali tuh ya :p And after that... SELESAI SUDAH!! Woohoo!! Sekian kisah perjalanan LDR kami, wkwkwk... So, buat temen-temen yang lagi in LDR juga, sama-sama semangat ya... You are not alone... :)

LDR will work if two people involve are strong in FAITH, LOVE & RESPECT for each other...

PS: See you in 37 more days, DM...! *counting down*

Prayer For My Fiance

One of the most important things that has to be in every relationship is a PRAYER. Apalagi buat para pasangan yang LDR, yang ketemunya jarang-jarang, gak selalu tau kondisi doi di sana lagi gimana, or kalo lagi kangen... kadang yang bisa dilakuin yah berdoa :) Doa bareng di telepon or doa sendiri-sendiri setiap hari di rumah...

Tadi aku lagi iseng-iseng aja search di google tentang "a prayer for fiance", and di antara semua artikel yang nongol, ada satu doa yang bagus, but judulnya "a prayer for my boyfriend" hehe... Btw, mungkin kalian bingung ya... Fiance?! Emang sejak kapan kalian tunangan?! Yup, kita nanti baru mo tunangan secara resmi di bulan Oktober :) Loh kok bilangnya udah jadi fiance?! Jadi ceritanya, waktu baru awal jadian, aku kan masih sering tuh sebutin DM is my boyfriend (alias pacar), but lucunya... si DM selalu bilang that Cella is my fiancee... Sejak itu aku juga jadi ikut manggil dia my fiance, haha... karena agak janggal juga rasanya kalo sebut dia as my boyfriend, cos dari awal tujuan kita emang langsung serius buat married, bukan pacaran :p Ntar pacarannya after kita married aja yaa, wkwkwk... 

But anyway, aku tetep bisa pake doa ini buat doain si DM juga :) It's a beautiful prayer...


Lord, thank you for the guy that I get the privilege of calling mine.  You have spoken over us, changed us, and blessed us.  You thrill us, Lord, with all you have done.  We will forever sing for joy because of what you have done in our lives (Psalm. 92:4)!  Thank you for how You have worked in us.  Thank you for giving us another opportunity to trust You more.  You are so worthy.  You are so sovereign. 

I am so thankful for how you have used DM in my life.  Because of his faith in You and his decision to walk in your magnificent light, I am encouraged to follow him hard after You.  Thank you for his determination to grow and to seek You with his life.  I’ll be more than willing to trust him with our family one day.

Give him strength today, Lord.  Help him to keep his mind set on you, because You will keep him in perfect peace (Isaiah 26:3).  Give him the courage to stand up for you no matter the cost and encourage him to always walk with integrity.  Captivate him with Your Presence, Jesus.  I pray that he feels more of You.

I desire for us to live a life that shows your faithfulness.  Lord, help us to lay down our plans, dreams, and desires so that others will know our help comes from the Lord alone.  Remind us that we can do nothing without You. 

Give him more grace today.

Give him more peace.

Pour Your Spirit into him and speak through him, Jesus.

Give him more strength.

Give him more courage.

Give him more discernment.

Give him more wisdom and more knowledge.

Give him more trust.

Give him more of You.

Fill him up, Jesus.  I pray that he would lay his life at your feet today.

Be near, Jesus.

“The Lord says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life.  I will advise you and watch over you.’”

Psalm 32:8


Praying for you, DM! I feel so grateful to have you in my life...
The LORD loves you so much, and so do I :)
I am with you!

- cella

Keep Smiling, Cella! :)

Itu satu kalimat yang diucapin DM berkali-kali selama kita lagi telponan kemaren :)

Bagi yang udah married, pasti ngerti lah ya gimana rasanya selama wedding preparation.. apalagi kalo pasangan kita gak ada sama-sama kita.. jadi sering banyak misscom.. bukan cuma sama DM, but sama para parents and family juga.. Padahal yang buat di Indo ini nanti cuma acara engagement, tapi jauh lebih ribet urusannya dibanding acara wedding kita yang di Aussie nanti.. Itulah bedanya budaya Asia and budaya barat, haha..

Akhirnya kemaren kita doa bareng di telepon and DM encourage aku terus.. "Keep smiling, Cella.. Keep smiling.." and honestly, it was so hard for me to smile at that time.. Bahkan sampe tadi pagi aku juga masih bangun dalam keadaan yang gak happy.. spirit of complaining nya jauh lebih kuat daripada spirit of thanksgiving, haha.. gara-gara urusan wedding, akhirnya hal-hal yang laen juga jadi keikut di-complain juga deh :p

But thanks God, pas banget hari ini aku seharian ikut pelayanan bareng tim misi YWAM (outreach) ke satu slum area.. It was so awesome! But ada satu kejadian yang bikin aku langsung bertobat sih.. tepatnya pas aku lagi di dalem busway.. tiba-tiba aku liat satu ibu yang duduk di depan aku.. and when I looked at her face, you know what.. I was super shocked!! Maybe I can say, mukanya bener-bener aneh and serem.. Kalo gak salah liat (karena aku juga gak berani ngeliatin dia terus :p), kayaknya dia tuh punya 3 mata! Soalnya ada 1 bolongan lagi gitu di pipinya.. Trus mulutnya.. hard to describe deh.. kayak ketarik ke atas gitu.. Aku sampe bilang ke bule YWAM yang lagi aku dampingin saat itu: "OMG! I just saw a lady who has 3 eyes!!" dan dia jadi ikutan shocked juga, haha.. Tadinya pengen kita samperin and doain pas turun dari busway, but udah gak kekejar..

Anyway, after I saw that lady, aku langsung bener-bener bertobat.. udah gak perlu tanya apa maksud Tuhan lagi deh, wkwkwk.. I know that I have to stop complaining and be grateful with my life! Aku harus bisa bersyukur karena aku punya muka and mata yang normal.. and the most important thing, aku punya bibir/mulut yang normal to smile! Jangan sampe mulut kita ditarik Tuhan ke atas gara-gara kita gak mo senyum, haha.. jadi serem ngebayanginnya.. but thanks God for reminding me, through that lady.. God can speak to us through so many ways :)

So, now I can smile again! Hehe.. And during this wedding preparation time, aku mau belajar untuk punya hati yang lemah lembut and siap dibentuk.. Forgive me O Lord, kalo aku sering gagal.. but I really want to please You, God with my life.. Also thanks for my fiance, DM, for his encouragement all the time, especially during the bad times.. though you are not here, but your support means a lot :) I pray so that our relationship and our marriage (bahkan selama masa preparation) can be a blessing, an example and inspiration for others.. bukan cuma saat kita happy doang, but masa-masa waktu kita struggle, waktu gagal, waktu kita konflik dan lain sebagainya.. but then we choose to follow God's way, to keep loving and forgiving one another.. it can be a great testimony :) Keep smiling!!

Wedding preparation can be stressful sometimes, but I don't wanna let the devil steal the joy & peace from my heart. Wedding is not about what kind of dress or jewelry that I'm going to wear, but it's about a heart that ready and willing to be shaped by God.. :')

Thanks Arlia for sending me this quote :)

The Marshmallow Test :)

Wow! I've never seen this video before...

Selama seminggu ini aku lagi ikut kelas misi yang diadain YWAM, namanya YPDS (Young People Discipleship Seminar) di Slipi, Jakarta. Bener-bener full tiap hari dari jam 9 pagi - jam 5 sore, and I feel so blessed!! Bener-bener life changing :) Trus enak juga karena diadainnya selama libur Lebaran, jadi gak kena macet! Haha... Bayangin aja dari Kelapa Gading ke Slipi tiap hari cuma 15 menit booo... :p

Anyway, satu hal yang menarik adalah... ternyata ada juga satu sesi yang ngebahas tentang Relationship (tepatnya tentang singleness, karena kebanyakan pesertanya masih single semua, haha...) and seru banget tadi pagi session-nya... Ngebahas tentang menjadi single (utuh) sama seperti Adam sebelum ketemu Hawa (Kejadian 2:18-23). Tuhan ciptain Hawa setelah Adam lewatin masa-masa singleness, setelah dia selesai kasih nama semua binatang and dikasih tanggung jawab sama Tuhan. Abis itu baru deh dia ketemu si Hawa :)

Aku percaya Tuhan mau setiap kita bisa ketemu dengan pasangan yang tepat, dengan cara yang tepat, di waktu yang tepat juga... but seringkali masalahnya adalah, kita gak sabar! Kita pengen cepet-cepet dapet pasangan, and akhirnya kita cuma bisa dapet yang rata-rata or good, bukan yang the best and yang sepadan sama kita...

Nah, tadi pagi sempet ditayangin video ini, and very interesting kalo dihubungin ama soal singleness, haha... Love it! Masa-masa menunggu tuh memang gak enak and gak gampang... Aku juga ngerasain selama 26 tahun nunggu :p But now I can say... be patient! Masa penantian kamu gak bakal sia-sia :) Buat yang udah in a relationship juga, control yourself, jaga hubungan kalian tetep dalam kekudusan (berlaku buat aku and DM juga saat ini, hihi...) sampe masuk ke dalam pernikahan, supaya kita bisa sama-sama menikmati hasilnya nanti...

Watch this video and you will understand what I mean... :p

(bisa buat bahan parenthood juga nih, haha...)

THE PRESENT Blog Design by Ipietoon